The Break In The Cup

Years ago I attended a high school reunion, and a classmate ran up and hugged me. I’ll never forget, he said “Hollye Holmes! I remember you. You were always finding birds with broken wings and trying to save them!”

Wow. I did not miss the truth in his simple statement. I know he was speaking literally about memories he had of me, but boy oh boy did he have my number on so many levels.  I had a habit back in those days of taking broken people under my own wing, and trying to “love” them into wholeness. But it’s impossible to do when that person has got a “broken cup”.

That’s a term coined by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, David Wilcox. I love him not only for his James Taylor-like soothing vocals but because the man is like a sage. His songs are so deep and profound he could start a religion around them, or at least a self-help movement.  This song he wrote, called “Break in the cup” taught me so much about the people I was trying to fix in my life, and about myself as well.

I can’t say it any better than Wilcox so I’ll just share his lyrics with you.

I try so hard to please you

To be the love that fills you up

I try to pour on sweet affection

But I think you got a broken cup.

Because you can't believe I love you

I try to tell you that there is no doubt

But as soon as I  fill you with all I've got

That little break will let it run right out

I cannot make you happy

I'm learning love and money never do

But I can pour myself out 'til I'm empty

Trying to be just who you'd want me to

I cannot make you happy

Even though our love is true

For there's a break in the cup that holds love

Inside of you

Now I begin to understand you

As you explain the fear you feel

It's when you see me fall into that sorrow

That makes you doubt the love is real

Because lonely wind still blows through me

I turn away so you can't see

But now how can I still be so empty

With all this love that you pour on me?

I guess you cannot make me happy

And that's a money-back guarantee

But you can pour yourself out 'til you're empty

Trying to be just who'd I want you to be

You cannot make me happy

It's just the law of gravity

And that break in the cup that holds love

Inside of me

So if you're tempted to rescue me

Drowning in this quicksand up to my neck

Before you grab my hand to save me

Why don't you ask me if I'm finished yet?

You cannot make me happy

Not when there's empty inside of me

But you can pull yourself right in here with me

My misery'd love to have your company

We cannot trade empty for empty

We must go to the waterfall

For there's a break in the cup that holds love

A break in the cup that holds love

A break in the cup that holds love

Inside us all

That’s the clencher…that last chorus. The “break” in the cup is the ego, which can never be satisfied.  But the “waterfall” – that is our source of life, the love that created us.  Only there can we find wholeness.

So, what I learned from David Wilcox is this: I can love my friends and family, but I alone can never fill their cups. When we are living in grace and love, and finding our strength from that source, our cup is full. It is only when we each fix the break in our own cups that we can find true happiness. 

Here is another great song ( and sweet story) from Wilcox- about how love blooms when we approach it with honesty. I just love this guy....take the time to watch this short video. It'll make you smile and believe in love.