You'll Find What You're Looking For

This morning, while meditating at the end of my yoga class, these words came to me, "You'll find what you're looking for." And at first I didn't get it, because I wasn't actively "looking" for anything right at that moment, except peace. But as I ruminated on it, I realized these words are true. I have always found what I'm looking for.

When I approach my day looking for beauty, I find it everywhere. Likewise, when I walk into the world expecting trouble, rude people, traffic...I generally find it.

 This rule applies to all of us.

If you look for grace and kindness, you will find it
If you look for conflict and trouble, you will find it.

If you look for goodness in a person, you will find it.
If you look for a reason to be disappointed, you will find it.

If you believe that work is hard and grueling, you will find that it is.
If you believe that work is a blessing and a godsend, you will find that it is.

If you believe the world has shortchanged you, you will find that it has.
If you believe that the world is abundant and plentiful, you will find that it is.

When we fight and engage in conflict with others, it's because that's what we were looking for.
When we find ourselves surrounded by love, that's what we were looking for.

So as I was driving home, these thoughts were swirling about in my head : Why don't we stop looking for reasons to defend ourselves, and start looking for beauty in the world?
Why not look for goodness in others?
For reasons to be grateful?
For peace?

And this song came on the radio:
It's Christmastime; there's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
But say a prayer to pray for the other ones
At Christmastime

And at that moment in front of me was a car with the world's best bumper sticker:

"God Bless The Whole World. No Exceptions."

I'm always looking for meaning, even in the smallest moments.
In that moment, I found what I was looking for.
 

Judge Judy goes to Yoga

So I’m sitting in yoga the other day, during opening meditation. Lotus position, palms facing upward, breathing slowly…OM.

But the woman in front of me was texting. TEXTING during our OM time.

OMG! Major YOGA FAIL!

I couldn’t believe it…I thought, why would she even come to yoga if she’s going to waste this time on her phone? She's supposed to be centering herself. Just wait till we got to balance poses, she’s gonna tumble over like a stack of blocks. And I was feeling just little bit spiritually superior to her…until I realized that instead of centering myself, I had spent my meditation time thinking about what she was doing and judging her. Ha!

Years ago, I went to a Deepak Chopra lecture, and was particularly inspired by his calm and rational petition for us to let go of judgment. In nature, there is no judgment, he said. Everything is as it should be. The rain is the rain. A cloudy day is a cloudy day. It’s not good or bad, but necessary to the natural order of things. Even forest fires serve a purpose. But we humans put judgment on everything (and everyone) without seeing the full picture. We make assumptions about a situation, who someone is, what their motivations are. We decide whether a rainy day is a good or bad thing. This is an absolute waste of time. On that day I decided to do my best to stop judging (note: do my best).

They say that every person in our lives is a teacher, and I learned something about myself from the yoga-fail girl. In spite of my attempts to practice being nonjudgmental, it still creeps up in my monkey mind. Normally, when the thoughts start, I’ve learned to notice them, observe them, then let them go. But sometimes they are a runaway train, and by the time you realize what’s going on, you’re in Topeka with no return ticket.

I don’t know yoga-fail girl. I have no idea why she may have been texting. Maybe she had a loved one in the hospital, or a sick child at home. For all I know she runs a suicide hotline. Same with the guy who was tailgating me the other day (who I labeled an asshole) - maybe his wife is in labor, or he’s an undercover cop on his way to foil some evildoer’s plan. What I have learned, as a writer and an observer of life, is that every human being has a rich and complicated story, and to make a judgment call or assumption about another person is a foolish mistake.

So once again, I recommit myself to letting go of judgment. I can still make judgments based on what’s good for me, like “I wouldn’t text in yoga” or “ I wouldn’t tailgate someone” – but it isn’t my place to judge someone else in the choices they’ve made. We all have our own unique path in life. There’s no way I could possibly know what is right for another.

I didn’t get my OM time that day, but I got the message loud and clear, and of course, that was the meditation I needed. It’s time for me to put the gavel to rest, and put the focus back on my own inner peace.  

OM.

A Week Without Negativity- Did I Survive?

I’ve just completed a week-long Negativity-cleanse, in which I tuned out the news, didn’t watch any negative TV (no cable news or politics), didn’t listen to news on the radio.

All week I read positive, uplifting books and listened to music. I did yoga four times this week, kept my mind in a healthy place, ate healthy foods (no junk!) and didn’t participate in negative conversations. I slipped a few times, especially in the area of inner conversations in my own head. This was a great opportunity for me to see where I create my own negativity. But, I didn’t let it get me down. Each time I faltered, I got back on the horse and read my Dalai Lama book. I started every day by writing what I was grateful for, and then read several “good news stories” for inspiration. I took my laptop and worked outside in my yard, under the trees, rather than being hunched over a desk. I listened to music that inspired and uplifted me.

And I felt great!

This week, I felt at peace with everyone around me. I was more patient, even when Evan got squirelly. I slept sound every night. I felt happy, peaceful, centered.

I’ve decided I’m going to continue the negativity-fast. I know I can’t block out all news, but I don’t really need to know most of what the media blasts at me. I plan to be selective as to what I let inside my head. I’m pretty sure I don’t need to know any more about Jerry Sandusky or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I would rather read about new galaxies being discovered in the universe, cures being found for illnesses, people reaching out to help each other.

An interesting side note this week: since I started blogging about ridding negativity from my life, my blog readership dropped by about 70%. When I look at my blog statistics, my most popular blogs of all time are about the Northridge earthquake, my miscarriage, losing my trial, my grandson being taken to Japan, and posts about friends who have passed away. My many blog posts about miracles, lessons learned in crisis, finding hope in the darkness, etc…are the least popular. Hmmmm…

This may further prove my theory that we, as a society, are in fact addicted to negativity.

As with any kind of addiction, the first step is recognizing that we have a problem.

Here is some good news to help break the cycle: http://www.good.is/

Good news all over the world: http://www.goodworldnews.org/

Have a wonderful Sunday, everyone!

Sh*t My Yoga Teacher Says

Yoga mat with a view

My yoga teacher is one bad-ass mofo. I mean, she’s no Samuel L. Jackson or anything, but she’s also not your typical size 0, Malibu-Barbie L.A.-type yoga teacher. She’s a sturdy woman, strong, with long flowing hair (good for the kundalini, she says) and although she likes to make jokes about her butt, the woman is in rockin’ good shape. What I’m saying is I bet my yoga teacher could kick your yoga teacher’s ass.

She is deeply spiritual and knows her stuff : yoga, tai chi and the inner workings of the physical and energy body. She can tell you exactly how to wrap yourself into a pretzel and how to get out of it. I mean, if you're into that. 

The thing that makes her different is her odd but loving way of guiding us through our practice- delivered in such a way that I half expect to turn around and find a cigar hanging out the side of her mouth. After class, as I drive home, I find myself pondering her words, looking for the deeper meaning, as I find metaphor for life in everything I do, but especially in yoga.

So here are some of Swami-Amy’s quotes, with my contemplative interpretations:

“Keep your movements small, we’re not trying to put on a Bob Fosse production, here.” And then she added, “But not that tight. This ain’t the Mitt Romney class.”

 She’s right, of course. Yoga is not a Bob Fosse production. We don’t need to wave our arms and flail around saying look at me, look at me! I matter! Yoga, like life, is not a competition. It’s not about recognition. It doesn’t matter that the woman next to me actually can fold herself into a pretzel (she really can). It is how we feel within our own skin that matters. We don’t need to look like anybody else, stretch as far as anyone else. We only need to step into our own flow.

And we definitely, definitely don’t want to be anything like Mitt Romney.

Unless you do, and in that case, Namaste.

“Keep your chakras lined up, Dudes (she always calls us dudes, although we are a class of all women). Whatever is out of balance in your energy body is going to manifest in the physical.”

 I see this in my own yoga practice. When my energy is out of balance, by body is out of balance. I can’t maintain poses. I “lose my footing”. I also have seen my body manifest illness in the places I’ve lost balance. And this bleeds over into my daily life. So every day I work on lining my chakras up. Dude.

“The prana is strong in this one.”

 (Awesome Star Wars reference!) Prana is our life force, our energy. We all have it, but some people fritter it away. For instance, there was a woman behind me in class who flailed and huffed and puffed and made such a production out of every pose. She was breathing with such intensity it sounded like she was slurping soup back there. She was throwing her energy all over the place, instead of focusing it where she needed it. When it came time for balance poses she was falling over and stumbling.

The bottom line is- focus your energy. Don’t fritter that prana away. Be the one in whom the prana is strong. or as Yoda once said, "Do, or do not. There is no try."

"Take it easy over there, crazy-elbows" 
This was said to a woman who was overextending (her elbows). We all over extend ourselves, afraid of saying no or disappointing anyone. I would bet that "crazy-elbows" does this in her life, and its showing up in her practice. So if you're one of those over-extending people pleasers, one who literally bends backwards for others, my advice to you: Take it easy over there, crazy-elbows.


“Now, as you go into this pose, you must ask yourself, can I go deeper, or am I just bein’ a pussy?”

 None of us really want to push beyond our comfort zone. The fact is, we usually can go deeper in life, in relationships. Most often, we are just bein’ a pussy. But if we don’t stretch beyond our limits, we become rigid in body, rigid in mind.  A rigid body is bad but nothing is worse than a rigid mind.

And then there's my favorite quote:
"Don't fuck with my serenity."
I don't think that one needs any interpretation.

So my fellow yogis, those are Swami-Amy’s gems for you today. I’ll be sure to add more as they come….and believe me, there’ll be much more to come. This one’s a live wire.

Until then, as Swami-Amy says, “Lookin' good, kundalini-girl.”

And Namaste. 


**L.A. peeps: Amy offers a free Tai Chi/Yoga Fusion class under the oaks,  Friday mornings, 9:30AM at the Calabasas Tennis and Swim Center.