How Americans Contribute to the Culture of Gun Violence

Last night, I took my ten-year-old son to see the PG-13 rated movie The Martian. We had just been reading the book, and were thrilled to see something so full of science and math and innovation come to the big screen. We put on our 3D glasses, snuggled into our plush recliner seats with popcorn and got ready for a fun ride. Instead, I was horrified as my child was subjected to the blood-soaked previews of three movies that were nothing but guns, guns, guns—and all of them to be released on Christmas Day. And why is it that the studios will release these bloody films on Christmas Day? Because they’ve done the research. They know that even though we scream and yell at Congress with outrage after every mass shooting, school shooting and theater shooting, moviegoers will still pay big bucks to sit in a theater and accept this gory violence as holiday entertainment, right after having slipped “Call of Duty” and “Grand Theft Auto” into their kids’ stockings.

Hollywood gets no pass here, either. While major studios have weighed in on war and politics and racism and every other societal ill, they continually perpetuate and glorify gun violence and vigilantism, even while their fans are gunned down in theaters. But are we boycotting? No. They dish it out and we keep on buying it.

I am an activist. I have had four incidences of gun violence affect my life. My little brother, at seven years old, was shot in the head by a troubled teenager down the street, and has had to live with the fallout of traumatic brain injury and PTSD. My best friend was shot five times by the father of her children, and lives with a body full of shrapnel. At fourteen years old, I witnessed my neighbor commit suicide by gun right in front of my house. Two years ago, my husband’s childhood best friend, a police officer, was shot and killed in the line of duty, along with his partner, by a maniac wielding an assault rifle. I do not live in a third world country. I didn’t grow up in Afghanistan or Somalia. I grew up in the very suburban San Fernando Valley in California. But I am not sheltered. I don’t have the luxury of thinking that gun violence is something that happens to other people. I know it can happen to any one at any time, and I don’t want it to happen to you.

After every shooting, I watch the news, the talking heads, the politicians who make their media appearances and send their “thoughts and prayers” tweets out, and still nothing gets done because we all sit comfy in our homes, pointing the finger of blame at them. But while we are pointing our fingers at Congress, there are three fingers pointing back at ourselves. If we were so upset about Sandy Hook, why didn’t we show up at the polls to vote out those NRA-backed politicians? Last year our voter turnout for midterm elections was the lowest in seventy years, and most of those who showed up to vote were conservatives who favor gun rights. As a result, we got more NRA-backed politicians voted in to office.

Every week, my friends post articles and memes decrying the horrors of American gun violence. In response, I post simple things they can do to prevent gun violence,  like signing a petition or making a 1-minute call to Congress. But these action posts get little to no comments, very few clicks, and almost no shares. The truth is that as 33,000 people are dying every year from gun violence, very few Americans take any action at all.

We’ve gotten lazy, America. If Martin Luther King were alive during this generation, and the civil rights movement were happening right now, would you show up to march, or would you just “like” his facebook call to action, repost a few memes, express your outrage about racism in a tweet or facebook post, and call it activism? Congress didn’t make change happen during the Civil Rights Movement. The people did. Where are the people today?

For far too long, the work of gun violence prevention has been on the shoulders of the grieving parents of murdered children, and those who have survived being shot. This is not their issue alone. This is not an inner city issue. It’s not a racial issue or a gang-related issue. Gun violence is an American issue, and if it hasn’t touched you directly yet, unless we do something about it, it soon will.

Brave New Films recently did a PSA pointing out that between 2001 and 2013, over 400,000 people have been killed due to gun violence. That’s equivalent to ten terrorist attacks EVERY YEAR. It’s more than one hundred thirty-five 9/11’s. We are at war with ourselves, and we are far more deadly than any terrorist. See video here:  https://www.facebook.com/bravenewfilms/videos/10153051431607016/

Are we okay with this? Are we going to accept this as “just the price we pay for our 2nd amendment rights”?

Albert Einstein said it himself: “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who refuse to do anything about it.”

TAKE ACTION:

Here are three simple actions you can take right now to help prevent gun violence. You can click on one, or just keep scrolling. It’s up to you.

Sign up here for a weekly email of three things you can do to prevent gun violence: http://wagv.org/get-involved/

Join a gun violence prevention group in your state. Find one here: http://www.ceasefireusa.org/page/join-state-affiliate

Make sure your House Rep supports Universal Background Checks on all gun sales! HR 3411 expands background checks on all gun sales and stops criminals from getting guns online or at gun shows. The list of co-sponsors for HR 3411 is here: http://ow.ly/T8rWC . If your Representative is on the list, thank them. If not, remind them that 90% of Americans support expanding background checks – and if they don’t represent the people by supporting this bill, they don’t get your vote.

Thank you for doing your part to change the culture of gun violence.

How to Be an Armchair Activist (in just 5 minutes a week)

I know you’re overwhelmed. Bad news is screaming at you every time you turn on the TV or radio. The gun violence stories are frightening and they make you sad… You’ve got a job, and worries, and kids or pets or older parents to take care of and you’re thinking…I feel terrible about what happened at Newtown but what can I do? I’m just one person. I can’t fix the world.

But you can do one small thing. A lot of people each doing one small thing is what moves the world. I have broken it down and made it simple for you. From the comfort of your home, in your pajamas, or even from your phone while you’re riding on a subway, you can do one small thing. Yes, you!

The NRA expects you to forget about Newtown. An NRA lobbyist said they were waiting for the “Connecticut effect” to wear off so they could continue pushing their agenda for looser gun laws. The NRA has millions in donations from gun manufacturers. They employ lobbyists to badger congress every day. Our elected officials are worn down and losing their courage. I hear this from politicians all the time, “We need to hear from the people.” That’s where YOU come in. YOU- the armchair activist.

GOT 10 MINUTES? WRITE A SHORT, SIMPLE LETTER: Our elected officials are hearing only from the NRA when they need to hear from YOU. If you wrote one letter, you would be doing more than most Americans. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. This letter is not going to your 10^th grade English teacher so don’t be intimidated. All they want to know is that you care. Three simple sentences will do. Do you want background checks for all gun purchases? Tougher punishment for illegal gun sales? Say so.

Need your Senators name and address? It’s right here: WHO IS MY SENATOR AND HOW DO I CONTACT THEM? 

An actual snail-mail letter is best, but if you don’t have a stamp, an email will do.

GOT 5 MINUTES? EMAIL:  Click here to send an instant email to your Senators: FAST EMAIL TO CONGRESS

It’s all written out for you. You don’t even have to think about what to write. However, it is more effective if you change the wording and make it your own. This should take you a minute or two, that’s it.

GOT 2 MINUTES? CALL : Call the Senate switchboard (202) 224-3121. Ask for your senators’ offices and if you don’t know what to say, just say this:

I support Universal Background Checks for all gun sales. Please record my views so that the Senator knows I vote and I care. Thank you.

Here is a quick video showing how one mom made a call to congress in less than a minute, while her toddler napped.

GOT LESS THAN 1 MINUTE? TWITTER:

Click this link to fast-tweet congress. The tweets are pre-written for you (but it’s better if you customize them). This action literally takes a few seconds. Honestly, who doesn’t have a few seconds?

FAST TWEET CONGRESS IN 10 SECONDS

GOT 30 SECONDS? SIGN UP TO BE A GUNSENSE VOTER: If Congress won't take action, we've got to vote out the bad apples, and vote in the ones who will protect our children. By signing up to be a gunsense voter, you will be kept up to date on who's running for office and how they rate on gun legislation issues.   http://every.tw/gsv

 
If you can take one small action even once a week, you will be more active and patriotic than the majority of American citizens.

So did you do it? Congratulations- You are an armchair activist!

Now doesn’t that make you feel kinda great?

When The Police are Outgunned, No One Is Safe

Sergeant Loran Butch Baker, and Detective Elizabeth Butler

 

On February 26th, 2013, there was yet another incidence of gun violence in America. Two police officers were shot in Santa Cruz, a peaceful community of artists and hippies and vegans. This was not just a blip in the news cycle in my household. Sergeant Loran Butch Baker was my husband Troy’s childhood friend.

For years, I’ve heard stories about Troy and Butch, and their childhood escapades. They loved to ride Butch’s minibikes, and target shoot, and play cops and robbers, pretending they were the guys from their favorite TV shows: Chase, One Adam Twelve, Emergency, Hawaii-5-0. They rode bikes, talked to each other on their CB radios, took family trips together, played Little League, and got into general mischief, like little boys do. Troy grew up to be a musician (with a secret desire to be a cop) but Butch actually grew up to be a police officer.

Butch, and his partner, detective Elizabeth Butler, were taken out by a maniac with a gun. This maniac, whose name I will not honor, was known to be unstable. He had a criminal past, had been arrested for sexual assault and carrying a concealed weapon. And yet, according to San Jose Mercury News, he had three guns registered to him, including a .40-caliber semi-automatic Sig Sauer.

Yet another infuriating case of private citizens outgunning the police. Butch and Elizabeth were taken down instantly, never stood a chance. A 28-year veteran of the police department, Butch was just months away from retirement.

Like Troy, Butch had a wife and kids. They will have to find a way to go on without him now. Detective Butler also leaves behind two sons. Having been impacted by gun violence in my own family, I know all too well that these families will be forever affected, and generations will feel the impact. The damage goes far beyond what a bullet can do.

Gun violence is not a local problem. It’s not an inner city problem. It is an American problem. When this madness extends to quiet communities like Newtown, and peaceful hippie artist communities like Santa Cruz, it’s time for us to wake up.

WAKE. UP.

There are almost as many registered guns as there are people in this country (88 guns to every 100 people). That does not include black market and unregistered guns, which could make up to 40% of the guns in America. Gun violence is the second leading cause of death to American children between the ages of 2 and 19. Every day in our country, eight children are killed by guns. Every day. Are we paying attention yet?

The first assault weapons ban was signed into law by President Bill Clinton in 1994, and allowed to quietly expire under George W. Bush in 2004. Since then, mass shootings have become an epidemic. Bloomberg news reports that by 2015, firearm fatalities will exceed traffic fatalities as the leading cause of accidental death.

For those of you who believe guns are not the problem, consider this. According to Forbes, “In 1991, 15 years after Washington, D.C. banned handguns, researchers from the University of Maryland conducted a study to assess the impact of the ban. They tracked homicides and suicides in the district from 1968 to 1987 and found that homicides by firearm fell by 25 percent and suicides committed with firearms dropped by 23 percent.”

When maniacs have open access to military style assault weapons, no community can be deemed safe. Quiet community schools are not safe. Movie theatres are not safe. Safeway stores are not safe. Kindergarten classes are not safe. The police are not safe. When does this insanity end?

There are solutions to this problem. When car accidents were killing mass amounts of Americans, we stepped up and regulated that industry. Today, cars are safer than ever thought possible. We can make this better. No one is talking about overturning the second amendment. No one is coming for your guns. Common sense gun regulation is all we’re asking for.

If you are an American citizen, this is YOUR problem. Every single one of us has to take responsibility and do something. When we band together, small simple things, like an email or a phone call to congress, showing up for a rally, or voting, make a huge impact.

Please, be part of that impact. Let us stand united and make our country safe for all citizens.

The Ones Left Behind

After the Newtown shooting, I made the decision to share the story of my brother Christopher, who was shot in the head when he was seven years old. People who have known me for years had no idea this was part of my history. It's not something I bring up at cocktail parties or playdates. It is too painful a memory to recount. It took me three decades to be able to finally write about that awful day. But then Newtown happened, and I couldn't push the memory away. It haunted me day and night. When I learned that gun violence is the #2 cause of death to children between the ages of 2 and 19,  I couldn't be silent any longer.

I hope that in sharing my story now, I will reach the people who believe guns are not the problem. If an emotionally unstable teenaged boy hadn't had access to a gun, my brother's life would be very different today. My life would be different. My children's lives would be different. Maybe my brother wouldn't have violent fits, and my entire family wouldn't be estranged right now. Maybe my son Evan would know his Uncle Christopher. Maybe I would know my nephew, Christopher's son. But my family was shattered by a single bullet. The sound of that shot still reverberates.

After my story, A Single Bullet, went viral, I was asked to be part of this public service announcement for PBS. I met two other people on this day, whose lives were also shattered by gun violence, but who are using their lives to heal others. 

Linda Evans, whose brother was murdered, is now a grief counselor. Kevin Harris, whose only child was murdered, now works with SilverLiningOfHope, campaigning to end violence in Los Angeles. I am proud to know these strong warriors, though sad for the reason life brought us together. Our only road to hope is to turn this poison into medicine.

Our goal in making this PSA is that people will realize this: gun violence doesn't end with the 24-hour news cycle. The damage is felt in families and communities for generations. 

Please join me, Linda, Kevin, and millions of others, in our campaign to bring common sense gun regulation back to this country.

One Million Moms For Gun Control has changed its name to:

MomsDemandAction.org

FACTS: Guns in America

FACTS:

FACT: There are more than 58,000 gunshops in this country. There are fewer than 20,000 Starbucks in the whole world. - Kai Rysdall, NPR 

FACT: The United States has the highest rate of gun ownership in the world — an average of 88 per 100 people. 60 percent of U.S. homicides occur using a firearm. Washington Post

FACT: The gun-homicide rate per capita in the U.S. is 30 times that of Britain and Australia, 10 times that of India and four times that of Switzerland.

- TIME

 

FACT: With only 5% of the world’s population, America owns nearly 50% of the world’s guns.

FACT: Last year on Black Friday, over 280,000 guns were purchased. (Merry Christmas)

- CBS Sunday Morning

FACT: On the same day as the Sandy Hook mass murder, a deranged man in China went on a rampage and attacked 22 schoolchildren with a knife. There were ZERO FATALITIES. 

- CNN 

MOST IMPORTANT FACT:

FACT: Firearm deaths are significantly lower in states with stricter gun control legislation. 

– Washington Post

 

ISSUES

MEDIA:  Yes, the media is a problem. Like our politicians, they are owned by corporations greedily chasing after the mighty buck, putting ratings before journalism with integrity. But did the media kill 26 people on Friday? No. Is there any reason to suspect this shooter was doing this for media attention? No.

Next issue.

MENTAL ILLNESS: Only half of the mass killings reported worldwide involved a person with mental illness. Yes, mental illness is a problem, but it has existed since the beginning of time. No psychiatrist or neurologist knows exactly why it happens, how to stop it nor how to effectively treat it. We understand very little about the human brain. Very little. We need to do better, and when we know how, we will. But right now we can’t stop people from being crazy. And as for the talk of Aspergers- that is not a mental illness. Aspergers has produced some of the world’s greatest thinkers, inventors and artists. I know many young people with Aspergers – they are smart, funny and kind.

Next issue.

SECOND AMENDMENT: Let’s talk about the second amendment. It was created during a time of horses and bayonettes. Nobody could have imagined a semi-automatic the likes of the Bushman, its bullets found in the bodies of the children who were massacred. The second amendment does not entitle citizens to weapons of mass destruction.

ASSAULT WEAPONS: If you feel you need a pistol for self-protection, okay. If you are a hunter and need your hunting rifles, okay. No civilian needs an assault weapon. PERIOD. And if you really think you need one, well then, that’s the exact reason you shouldn’t have one. 

Sign the White House petition for tighter gun control legislation: WHITE HOUSE

Click here to read my blog on how my family was shattered by gun violence : A Single Bullet

A Single Bullet

In the summer of 1978, my seven-year old brother Christopher was shot in the head by a teenaged neighbor, playing with his father's gun. Christopher was a first grader, a skinny little tow-headed boy missing his front teeth. I held him, bleeding in my arms, as my mother drove maniacally to the ER. His eyes fluttered, rolling back in his head as he lost consciousness. His little body twitched violently from the brain damage. I begged him to hold on. My arms were covered in blood. I was fourteen years old.

My brother survived. With multiple brain surgeries and a year of physical therapy, he learned how to use a fork and walk without dragging his leg, and talk normally again. He learned to write with his left hand, as he lost all fine motor skills on his right side. He had to attend school wearing a helmet. He became an outsider. His young body was able to heal much of the brain damage, but the emotional damage continues to take its toll. He has struggled with drug addiction all his life. Like many with traumatic brain injury, he has been prone to violent outbursts. He has been in and out of jail. Though he lived, a part of him died that day. The part that was pure and childlike and trusting. He still has a piece of the bullet in his brain.

My entire family, including my own children, has been affected by what happened to him at seven years old. Generations of our family were shattered by a single bullet. It is a nightmare that refuses to die.

Watching the news on that awful Friday morning, December 14, 2012, brought my nightmare into full focus.

The families of the slain at Sandy Hook are enduring unimaginable horror and grief that will affect them for the rest of their lives. The school, the children, the neighbors, the entire community is forever scarred. Future generations will feel the repercussions. Those who survived will bear emotional wounds that may never heal.

And yet, online and through the media, people clamor for their rights to assault weapons citing freedom and the second amendment.  They want their rights to military-style killing machines unimpeded, unregulated.

Unless you have held a bleeding child riddled with bullets in your arms, you don’t know. You do not know.

Let’s talk about rights.

I haven’t felt safe in the world since the day my brother was shot. I’ve had anxiety disorder and panic attacks (which rendered me “uninsurable” – yet another issue) all my life. I grew up to be a loving, but hovering, overprotective, paranoid mother. My three children have never played outside unattended. I rarely sleep through the night. A maniac with a gun took normalcy from me. Where are my rights?

I, like most of you, am afraid to send my child to school or to a mall or to the movies or to see a congresswoman in front of a Safeway store. Where are our rights?

Where were the rights of the children, the teachers, the principals who died? Didn’t they have the right to attend school peacefully and without fear? Where are the rights of those parents to see their children grow and thrive, to walk their daughters down the aisle, to hold grandchildren in their arms one day? Where were their rights?

Since when does the second amendment get to trample over the rights of the rest of us-  our right to Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Our right to feel safe in the world?

The NRA has had our politicians in their pockets for far too long. They have towered over us, the bully on the schoolyard that no one will stand up to. I have never been able to abide bullies. As a mother, I will not rest until assault weapons are banned in this country. As a citizen, I won’t stand by and watch the NRA take my freedom away with their lobbying and their money and their weapons.

I have been rocked to my core by this horrific tragedy, and I can not go back to life as normal. If any of you know how hard I’ve fought for my dog, then you know my tenacity. I will put all my heart behind this. I will not quit.

If we offer words of consolation but do nothing to change this epidemic of gun violence, we are no better than the gunman.

Holocaust survivor Elie Weisel said, “We suffered not only from the cruelty of killers, but also from the indifference of bystanders. I believe that a person who is indifferent to the suffering of others is complicit in the crime. And that I cannot allow, at least not for myself.”

I’m with him.

For more information on gun violence and what you can do, see Women Against Gun Violence

(I serve on the Board of Directors for Women Against Gun Violence)

NOTE- all comments are moderated and pending approval. Those of you gun advocates who have been posting and calling me a “liberal douchebag”- your comments will not be read nor posted. My focus is not on you, it is on the safety of children.