Karma's a Bitch, but Here's the Good News...

Are you people watching Oprah’s Lifeclass on OWN like I told you to? Are you, are you? I can't stress enough the importance of filling your mind with positive life-affirming information. ( Remember: garbage in=garbage out.)  But just in case you’re not watching, I’ve been taking cliff notes for you.

Last night was a great two-hour class with Deepak Chopra, who spoke about spirituality and karma, or, if you prefer- the Golden Rule. The class was live in New York City, where they packed Radio City Music Hall.

Here are the gems I picked up from last night:

“Problems come from a contracted state of awareness. Solutions come from an expanded state of awareness.”

How can you improve your state of awareness? Meditation. Even for a few moments each day. Slow your breathing. Slow your mind. Feel your heart. Get in touch with gratitude for what is good in your life. Even if your life is hell right now, you have food, running water, shelter….all things to be grateful for. Not everyone in the world has that.

When persistent negative thoughts plague you, here is what Deepak suggests:

Stop the thought.

Take deep breaths, and feel a smile in your heart, spreading through your whole body.

Observe how this feels

Proceed with love and kindness.

With regard to karma, here were the lessons:

“The worst thing you can say about another contains some truth about yourself.”

“You can never feel good about yourself by bringing someone else down.”

“Everyone does the best they can with where they are at in their own spiritual awareness. Hold them in compassion, for when you judge, you are also judging yourself.”

“The highest form of intelligence is the ability to observe without judging.”

“The story you tell yourself creates your experience in the world.”

“If you live your questions, life will lead you to your answers.”

“If you want love, be love. If you want change, be change.”

“Change yourself first. No social transformation can take place without personal transformation.” (peace begins with you…)

And here’s what I loved most of all. The Hindus believe (and the Christians do, too) that even if you have some karma from the past to work through, you can pay off some of that karmic debt by doing good in the world now. By being kind, loving, charitable, some of that debt will be forgiven. So in other words, Karma is a bitch, but she’s at least reasonable and willing to strike a good bargain.

Have a great, good-karma, non-judgy kinda day!

for more info on Oprah's Lifeclass, or the other wonderful life-affirming shows on O.W.N., click here:

Oprah's Lifeclass

Beware the Joy Vampires

Vampires, vampires…they’re everywhere these days. I’m not talking about movies and make believe. I’m talking about the real ones. They don’t look like this guy. Oh no, they’re much scarier than that. 

They are stealth. 

Ninjas. 

They will sneak into your life disguised as friends and family members, and then when you least expect it- ZAP. You’re drained of all your joy and life energy, and you have no idea why or how it happened.

A vampire will suck all the joy out of a room before you know what’s hit you. Every time you see her, you leave feeling depressed and tired. You no longer want to share good news with him because it seems pointless. But go on a rampage about someone or something and the vampire taps right into that vein with you, until you both are spiraling downward. Beware…for if he bites you, you become like him.

Years ago, I had a friend*- well, I thought she was a friend because she was there during a dark period in my life. But as I got stronger and began pulling myself up out of the muck, she turned on me. I was so hurt and confused. My therapist said this to me: A true friend is not someone who only stands by you when you’re down, it’s someone who stands by you when you’re up.


This friend wanted me to wallow in misery with her. This friend didn't want to see me happy.

A true friend wants to see you at your best, is happy to see you strong. True friends celebrate their victories together. True friendship gives a symbiotic energy that both people benefit from.

Joy vampires thrive in fear. They don’t have the emotional courage to stand up for their own lives, so when they see your strength and happiness, they’ll want to suck it right out of you.

I used to want to save the Joy Vampires. They were so damaged and sad. I must not be alone in this sickness because our culture romanticizes vampires. But if my own Joy and Purpose were to survive, I had to think about self-preservation. What did I want my epitaph to read one day? How about this: 

“She lived an authentic life and spread joy in the world.”  

If I’m going to live that life, I have to guard my positive energy. If I allow Joy Vampires in, I won’t be able to do it. And I’m not just talking about them being in my life physically, I’m talking about allowing them space in my head as well - that is where they are most stealth. Vampires you haven’t seen in twenty years could still be sucking your life’s blood simply through your thoughts.

I have a personal remedy for ridding myself of vampires, and its simple, really.  I release them.

I’ve held vampires captive in my head through my own anger- an anger that sunk its hooks in and wouldn’t budge.  But here is the garlic, the stake through the heart, the silver bullet that finally worked: I wished them peace, healing, and I let them go.

I also added a ritual, because I’m a concrete thinker, and like to do something physically to make clear what I’m doing. I write the vampires names on a piece of paper. I hold the paper in against my heart and say a loving prayer, letting them go. Then I burn the paper in my fireplace, and watch the wisps of smoke go upward, out the chimney, away from me.

“I wish you peace, I wish you peace…” I say until the smoke is gone.

I need to do this from time to time, because, as I said, vampires are stealth. They’ll sneak in through an open window, riding on the tails of anger, through a crack in my armor. And once again, with love and peace, I send them packing.

No one comes into this life wanting to be an emotional vampire. They were bitten by someone else and didn’t know how to free themselves. I know they need peace and healing as much as I do. I also know it’s not my job to save them, and I’m no longer sitting around waiting for anyone to save me. I make the choice to save myself. I make the choice to live a good life, because maybe if I do that, maybe, just maybe, someone else will witness it, and want to step out of their own dark shadows.

* Because I've already had two friends call and ask who the above referenced friend is (be assured, it's none of you, my darling ones!) - I'll just say it was 16 years ago. This woman spiraled downward so far she sadly became an addict and overdosed. A very tragic story. Ultimately, she turned on herself. 

What Is Your Heart’s Deepest Desire?

When I taught arts programs for at-risk teens, I’d have them start our 10-week course by writing what they wanted from life. When language was difficult for them, I’d have them collage or paint it. Later they would visualize then write about their lives in ten years. Where would they be living? Who would they share their lives with? What kind of work would they be doing? Then the specifics - describe the favorite room in their future home, the people who surround them, how it felt to do the work they did. For some of them this exercise was near impossible. Some of them simply said, “I hope to be alive”. Some said they hoped to be off probation. Some said maybe they could imagine working at a store. And my question always was – How can you expect anything of life if you don’t know what it is you want? You’ve got to search your heart for your deepest true desires, and then don’t be afraid to ask for it. Otherwise you are just drifting through life, going wherever the wind blows you.

Hello self. Are you listening?

Obviously I often forget to do this. Here I am in this awful year, financially and emotionally stretched to the limit and all I’m doing is dog-paddling to keep my head above water….just going wherever the current takes me. I can’t imagine my future. All I know is that I want to be out of this stress. That’s not much of a dream.

So this week is all about reclaiming my stake in life. I’m excavating the treasures of my heart, sweeping the cobwebs out of the corners, dusting off my ambitions and starting again.

Amy Ferris and I had a long talk about it, and decided this is our power week. She’ll be blogging about it as well. We’re going to do an experiment- First we get clear on what it is we really want. Self doubt, fear, shame will be swept away with the broom of truth. Then, every day this week, we will claim our heart’s desires with pure, clear intent. And watch what happens…

Yesterday was day one. I stated that I was manifesting money and miracles. I received a check in the mail for $166 dollars. Well, it’s a start, but perhaps I need to be a bit more specific.

So this week I’ll be asking myself these questions:

What does my heart want?

Where do I want to be in ten years?

What does it look like, feel like, taste like, sound like?

What (in me) is stopping me from claiming my stake in life?

We are all here for a reason. Every one of us has a purpose. Are we living our purpose, or just surviving? Will you join Amy and I for a week of miracles? We’ll start with a week, then who knows? Maybe we’ll stretch it out to a year, or maybe a lifetime? But for today…baby steps.

What does your heart yearn for?

( * Follow Amy's journey: http://marryinggeorgeclooney.com/blog/)