Reasons and Seasons and a lifetime of lessons.

There’s a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I’ve found that to be true. I’ve also found that every single person has come to teach me something.

My lifetime friends are the ones I can be my whole unedited self with, knowing that I will be loved and accepted. Our friendships are honest, and have withstood disagreements, tragedies, weddings, divorces, babies, deaths and the colossal ups and downs of life. From them I have learned the true meaning of unconditional love.

Some friends have come and gone, and from them, I learned that you can’t hold love with a tight grip, but only with an open hand.

Some friends are far away, but never stray from my heart. From them I learned that real love is timeless and can sustain long distance and periods of silence. (Diane- 28 years)

Some friends come into your life exactly when you need them. From them I've learned that prayers are answered.

Some friends turned out not to be friends.  From them I learned how to value myself.

Some friends stood by me when I was down, but resented me when I had success. From them I learned the importance of celebrating others’ victories.

Some were not happy to see me grow and change. From them I learned how to stand for myself.

Some were just plain mean and vindictive, and from them I learned the importance of boundaries, and releasing negativity from my heart.

Not one person has come or gone from my life without adding value to me as a person, so I can honestly say that every relationship has been a blessing. I have no regrets...even the bad ones were good once. I try to hold on to the happy memories of relationships gone bad, but most importantly I strive to learn the lesson that it held for me.

Who have been the blessings in your life - both good and bad?

A Modern Day Miracle

Miracles do occur in this world, but because the media gets better ratings from fear-mongering, we rarely hear about them. That's why it's up to us, people like you and me, to spread the word.

The best gift I could give anyone this weekend is to share this phenomenal story with you. In 2006, Anita Moorjani was dying of cancer. Literally dying. All her organs had shut down, her emaciated body had swelled up with toxic fluids and she was in a coma. Her family was gathered around her, everyone experiencing terrible grief, but through it all, Anita was happy, for she was experiencing something that defies explanation- at least to our understanding here on Earth.

Anita left her body and went to a place of unconditional love, where she felt her connection to all of humanity, and while there, she learned that FEAR was what had dominated her life up until that point, and that FEAR in fact, was the cancer that was killing her.

Eventually she was told to go back to her body, and that with this new understanding and release of  fear, her cancer would be gone.

This is what happened. A dying woman, riddled with tumors the size of lemons up and down her spine, whose organs had all shut down, returned to perfect health within days. This has been investigated by numerous doctors. None of them can explain what they've witnessed.

One of the lessons Anita learned on the other side was this - Our only mission in life is to be our true selves. Not our "career" selves, or our "projected" selves, but who we really are deep in our hearts. If we do this, our life purpose will be clear. We don't have to pursue anything else in life but being our true selves. When we are authentic, everything we need will come to us.

Imagine that.

I urge you to watch this interview with Anita Moorjani. It's about the length of a TV show, so maybe ditch the reality shows today and watch this instead. Because maybe, just maybe, this is the true "reality".

Anita Moorjani Interview- Near Death Experience

Feathers and Faith...

When you see me fly away without you

Shadow on the things you know

Feathers fall around you

And show you the way to go….

- Neil Young

Anyone who's read my blog at all knows that I struggle with my faith. But now let me tell you why I have a hard time NOT believing in something. And trust me, this story is going to test your faith in me.

Today is July 17^th, Vince’s birthday. Vince was my first love, my high school through college sweetheart. I was positive I’d marry him and we’d spend our lives together. But Vince had a painful past that he couldn’t overcome, even though he really tried. His mother had died of alcoholism when he was little, then his black-out drunk father lost custody of the two boys. Vince and his brother Chris were bounced through the foster care system throughout their childhood. When I met him, he had just been adopted at sixteen years old by a nice family.

Things started out bright between us. We were so close, as though we had grown up together all our lives. I can’t explain the bond, but I believe he saved me during a very dark time in my life. Vince was sweet, outgoing, smart, well-liked by everyone, a great tennis player, a big music lover. Above all he had a huge, loving heart. He was looking forward to a new beginning with his adoptive family. But his foster mom didn’t want him there. The Dad had made the decision to adopt Vince, and the mom resented him. Vince tried to win her love, but it was hopeless. And my love wasn’t enough to heal him. After a couple years he spun into a cycle of self-destruction, alcohol and cocaine, that I couldn’t stop. Eventually, I had to get out. We split for good in 1983.

Years later, I was devastated to learn that Vince died from an enlarged heart. He was twenty-nine years old. An enlarged heart….his heart always was too big for this world.

In 2002, on the eve before my first fundraiser for foster kids, Vince appeared to me in a dream that wasn’t a dream. He was there, I could hear his voice in the room. I could see the detail on his clothing. He gave Troy a hug, and told him to take care of me, and that he’d be watching me from “over there”. He was healthy and happy. I was sobbing happy tears. It was an amazing, truly indescribable experience.

All that year as I was working on launching an arts program for foster kids, I felt Vince at my back, and in my house. Strange things were happening. Lights would flicker on and off. The ceiling fan would start to spin on its own. Pennies would drop out of the air. My kids were getting freaked out. My daughter was in High School at the time, and she was not pleased about this intrusion. I remember one night she was screaming from downstairs, “Mom! Your dead boyfriend is in my room! Get him out!!” Teenagers can be so moody….

But the very strangest thing happened one night as I was laying in bed in the dark, trying to fall asleep but thinking about Vince’s death. I was listening to a song “The Long Day is Over” by Norah Jones, thinking Vince must have felt that way when he passed, when all of a sudden my computer turned on, then my AOL signed on by itself, without me entering a password or anything. It said “Hello! You’ve Got Mail!” I just lied there in my bed, paralyzed. When the song was over, AOL signed itself off, and said “Goodbye”. I defy any computer geek out there to explain that one to me.

Even though these crazy things were happening, I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t. It was too …I don’t know….unbelievable. But these strange events and coincidences kept coming. So I read a book by John Edward, a famous medium. He said to ask your loved one for a sign, something specific, to let you know if they are around. So I thought of a feather. But not just any feather. Not a pigeon or sparrow. Too common. It had to be a black feather. That’s pretty rare.

That very night we had friends over for dinner. My friend Lynn, who is a Jewish atheist and doesn’t believe in anything hippy-dippy, brought me a hostess gift, some beautiful stationary tied with a ribbon. On the top she had tied a black feather. She said, “I don’t know why I put that feather on there, it just seemed like you.”

Okay. So that was a really, really weird coincidence. In all the years I’ve received gifts, never has anyone tied a feather on top. But still I couldn’t believe it. Then I started finding them everywhere. On my car, in the street. And one morning my cat greeted me carrying a huge 10-inch black feather in his mouth. He’s an indoor cat! And still I thought, what a weird coincidence.

A few weeks later my husband Troy and I were hiking in the mountains. Troy was about to get on a plane that day, the first time he’d flown since the 9/11 disaster. I was stressed about it, worried and crying. Troy was trying to reassure me when saw something glittering in the dirt.

“Look… a good luck charm,” he said.

He bent down to pick it up, and lo and behold it was sitting next to a big black feather. I thought it was a poptop from a tin can. It was all encrusted in mud, but as he dusted it off, I was stunned. There he held in his hand a diamond infinity ring. In the middle of freekin nowhere, up in the mountains.

“See? This is a sign…” Troy said. “You never have to worry.”

Troy slipped the ring onto my finger, and it’s been there ever since. Now….can anyone explain this? I mean, I’m as skeptical as the next guy, but this was pretty hard to shrug off.

But I figure, I mean, if I have a guardian angel who’s dropping jewelry from the sky, I shouldn’t question it, right?

I believe…

I believe…