Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
And you know what? I didn’t feel bad. I can feel the sun on my face, the nutrients rushing back in. I feel healthier, stronger, and more hopeful.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Last week – ah, such a lovely miracle week that culminated on my birthday. It was the best. I was feeling strong, centered, enthusiastic and energized. To cap off the week - a wonderful Sunday dinner surrounded by my loved ones left me walking on a cloud. Then came Monday.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Well, day 5 was not so great. Scratch that, it had some pretty great possibility. I mean some things are in the works, seeds planted…but me being me, I don’t count my chickens before they hatch. But what DID happen yesterday is my miracle kid got the stomach flu. And my grandbaby is running a high fever. And I got another rejection letter from a pretty major agent. She said my life story was really interesting and she enjoyed reading it, but it would be too hard to try to sell the book of a person with no platform. ( If I wear platform shoes....does that count? hmmm...) Meanwhile, as Amy pointed out, Christine O Donnell got a book deal. Whatever.
Amy wrote to me “Welcome to the rejection club, Hollye Dexter”. And for some reason that made me smile, because I know I’m in some pretty good company here.
I’ve actually been a card-carrying member for quite a while now, being a singer/songwriter for twenty years. This is not much different than the music business. Some of the most talented musicians and singers I know are out there pounding the pavement in obscurity, while Paris Hilton and Heidi Montag have record deals. Who ever said life was fair. For some reason I seem to be drawn to the professions with the highest rejection rates: acting, music, and writing. Yes, I am insane. But I’m not alone! In fact, here is a short story on same famous authors rejection letters. Sorry Jack Kerouac, Sylvia Plath…you just have no platform- your book will never sell.
Aaaanyhoo…My son kept his toast down this morning, and the baby smiled for the first time in 24 hours, so I will continue declaring my heart’s intent, praying away the bad Juju of the past year, and believing that miracles are at work under the surface. Since it’s the holiday season, I’m summoning the spirit of George Bailey in my favorite movie It’s a Wonderful Life. I’ve thought of him a lot in this Mr. Potter year. Just as George learned to do, I’m keeping my chin up, trusting that everything is happening for a reason, that things unfold in their own time, and that every single one of us is here for a reason and the world needs us.
And like Natalie Wood says at the end of Miracle on 34th Street, after her hope has been dashed…I believe, I believe…
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
When I taught arts programs for at-risk teens, I’d have them start our 10-week course by writing what they wanted from life. When language was difficult for them, I’d have them collage or paint it. Later they would visualize then write about their lives in ten years. Where would they be living? Who would they share their lives with? What kind of work would they be doing? Then the specifics - describe the favorite room in their future home, the people who surround them, how it felt to do the work they did. For some of them this exercise was near impossible. Some of them simply said, “I hope to be alive”. Some said they hoped to be off probation. Some said maybe they could imagine working at a store. And my question always was – How can you expect anything of life if you don’t know what it is you want? You’ve got to search your heart for your deepest true desires, and then don’t be afraid to ask for it. Otherwise you are just drifting through life, going wherever the wind blows you.
Hello self. Are you listening?
Obviously I often forget to do this. Here I am in this awful year, financially and emotionally stretched to the limit and all I’m doing is dog-paddling to keep my head above water….just going wherever the current takes me. I can’t imagine my future. All I know is that I want to be out of this stress. That’s not much of a dream.
So this week is all about reclaiming my stake in life. I’m excavating the treasures of my heart, sweeping the cobwebs out of the corners, dusting off my ambitions and starting again.
Amy Ferris and I had a long talk about it, and decided this is our power week. She’ll be blogging about it as well. We’re going to do an experiment- First we get clear on what it is we really want. Self doubt, fear, shame will be swept away with the broom of truth. Then, every day this week, we will claim our heart’s desires with pure, clear intent. And watch what happens…
Yesterday was day one. I stated that I was manifesting money and miracles. I received a check in the mail for $166 dollars. Well, it’s a start, but perhaps I need to be a bit more specific.
So this week I’ll be asking myself these questions:
What does my heart want?
Where do I want to be in ten years?
What does it look like, feel like, taste like, sound like?
What (in me) is stopping me from claiming my stake in life?
We are all here for a reason. Every one of us has a purpose. Are we living our purpose, or just surviving? Will you join Amy and I for a week of miracles? We’ll start with a week, then who knows? Maybe we’ll stretch it out to a year, or maybe a lifetime? But for today…baby steps.
What does your heart yearn for?
( * Follow Amy's journey: http://marryinggeorgeclooney.com/blog/)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Have you ever experienced a miracle in your life…something you just couldn’t explain? Did you try to rationalize it away? Did you push it to the back of your mind as if it never happened? Yeah, me too. I wonder why we do that. Maybe we want to feel as though we control everything, and it’s a little too scary to admit there are forces much bigger than us in the universe.
I’ve written about several of my personal miracles on my blog ( if you want to read them, here are a few : http://hollyedexter.blogspot.com/2010/07/feathers.html,
I still forget about them, especially when I’m in crisis, as I have been for the better part of this year.
But lately I started praying again, and small miracles have already begun to happen. Miracles of the heart, of forgiveness, of kindness. Miracles of faith. I asked for help in believing again and suddenly there were articles in magazines, TV shows, emails, phone calls, books that showed up that made me feel the tingling all over, that “knowing” feeling that there was something bigger at work here. My Oprah magazine showed up today, and voila - it is all about miracles! There are some mind-blowing articles in there; Rocks that move on their own across the desert, a baby being stillborn only to come to life two hours later in his mother’s arms, a man who has healed thousands of people around the world with nothing but his mind and heart…
Miracles happen every day but we don’t talk about them. They aren’t reported on the news. People don’t discuss them at cocktail parties. Oh but we talk about Hollywood gossip and fashion and political mudslinging. Why don’t we talk about our miracles? What are we afraid of? Would people think we were crazy if we shared them?
Okay then. I’ll start it off. I’m crazy because I believe in miracles, and I’m going to start talking about it. A lot. I hope you’ll join me. In these troubling times, we need something positive to anchor ourselves to.
Will you share a miracle with me today?