The Stories We Tell Ourselves

This is a tale about a New Story and Three Miracles.

Yesterday, Troy and I had to make yet another trip to the appeals court in downtown L.A.. (If you are new to my blog and haven’t been following the long saga of our fight to keep our dog Stitch, the story is here.) We are currently in year three of a ridiculously drawn out battle that has been rife with jaw-dropping errors and bumbling ineptitude. The latest is that on January 3^rd, we filed our appeals brief. The plaintiff had 30 days to respond. He did not. We were waiting to hear what the court would decide. And waiting, and waiting…On Monday we were notified that the plaintiff filed a response three months late.  In line with the dazzling list of injustices that have occurred in this case, the court accepted it! Three months late!

Our attorney needed copies of this new response, so yesterday we set out for the courthouse with a pit in our stomachs. We anticipated the traffic, the expensive downtown parking ($24 for one hour), the incompetence of underpaid court workers. Documents would be lost, wrong case numbers would be filed, clerks would stare back at us with lack of concern. We knew the drill.

At the court, we asked for copies of this new, three-months late document.

“We don’t have your file,” an apathetic, goth clerk told us.

I turned to Troy and threw my hands in the air. “Of course they don’t have our file! Every time we come here it’s one problem after the next and blah blah blah…” and suddenly I stopped myself.

Just the day before, I had posted this blog, listing things I learned from Deepak Chopra, my favorite quote being: “The story you tell yourself becomes your experience in the world.”

“Wow,” I said to Troy, “Listen to me, anticipating the worst. I need to tell myself a new story.”

“Okay,” he said, “what’s your new story?”

I took a deep breath and centered myself, “The new story is…we are going to have a good experience in court today. We’re going to get the files we need, the clerks are going to be competent and friendly, and we’re going to get out of here before our parking meter runs out.”

And that is exactly what happened. Another clerk found our file easily, was smart and friendly, gave us the copies we needed, didn’t charge us (at 50 cents a page) and told us to have a great day. And we made it back three minutes before our parking meter expired. That has NEVER HAPPENED for us before. So that was MIRACLE #1.

Driving back, I worried about traffic, as we had to pick Evan up from school. As soon as we pulled onto the 405 onramp, we came to a dead stop. Bumper to bumper traffic. Ugh, we both groaned. This could take hours…

“New story!” Troy exclaimed, “I’m driving 90 all the way home!”

We both laughed heartily at this one.
“Good one, Honey!” I said. I mean, this was the 405 on a weekday.

But within moments, I kid you not, the traffic dissipated and we drove, not 90 but 70, all the way home to Chatsworth. If you live in L.A., you know that is MIRACLE #2.

And then, starving, we pulled into In N Out Burger, which has a long line at nine in the morning, at one in the morning, and three in the afternoon. In my entire life I’ve never been to In N Out when there wasn’t a long, long line. 

We pulled in at 12:30p.m. and laughingly said, “New story- no line at In N’ Out!”

And I know none of you Californians are going to believe me but I SWEAR- there was no line at In N Out Burger! NONE! At lunchtime!

That was a miracle of almost biblical proportion. That was MIRACLE #3.

Now I can’t say that all those things weren’t just coincidences, but what is the definition of a coincidence, anyway?

Coincidence: the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection.

(Merriam Webster Dictionary)

Hmmm…I told myself a new story. My circumstances changed. In that case, yeah, I guess I’d call that a coincidence.

This Blog is Half True (except for the end part)

The other day I was having a conversation with my friend Barb about, you know, all the usual girly stuff: The arc of life, karmic patterns we repeat, the existence of god, and shoes. She said she wasn’t at all airy-fairy, had never been to a psychic (can you imagine?) but asked if I believed at all in astrology. Yes! I said. Well, usually. I added. Actually, sometimes not. The truth is…I told her, I think everything is 50% true, whether it be religion, politics, Nurture-vs-Nature, the Secret, the Power of Positive Thinking, Karma, The Bible, Reality shows.

I mean, yes, I believe there is something to the alignment of the stars and the way it affects us. The moon affects the tide, farmers plant according to the cycles of the moon. So why not? Gravitational pull and all, I do believe we’re affected. But I don’t believe most of the astrological crap on the internet or in entertainment magazines. So, you know…I believe in half of it.

I believe in the good parts of most religions, and as far as I can see, the basic tenets are the same. Be a good person, don’t steal,cheat, lie, kill people (unless, of course, you need to steal their country or stomp out their religion). But then there are the parts about selling your daughter into slavery and smiting your neighbor for…I don’t know, things like wearing a fabric made of two fibers or eating shellfish. And no one really knows who or what God is or who EXACTLY wrote the Bible and who EXACTLY has tampered with it throughout history….and since it is written by man, and we humans are flawed by nature, it is certainly prone to error and the influence of a certain scribe’s own perceptions or political intentions. I mean, Glenn Beck has written a lot of books, he considers himself inspired by God…and it frightens me to think that in 2000 years someone could find his book in a cave somewhere and uphold it as an absolute truth. So…again, 50% belief there.

I believe that politics is mostly a game of power, but that some people go into to it for truly altruistic reasons, or some go in for 50% altruistic reasons and 50% power reasons. I believe half of what politicians say, and half of what the talking heads say. (The hard part is figuring out which half to believe.)

I do believe in the power of positive thinking (the Secret and Tony Robbins and all that). I mean, yeah, it’s great to believe in something good and put all your intention there. But then, shit happens. Your business burns down, a hurricane hits, people betray you out of nowhere…and no positive thinking can prevent some of that stuff. So, you know, it’s all good, but still, only half of the picture.

But let me tell you what I believe in 100%. I believe in the power of love. This is not some cheesy cliché or song lyric, I mean this wholeheartedly because I am living it. I have been knocked down so hard this year, by many more things than I reveal in my blogs, and I’ll be damned if every time I wasn’t scooped up by loving arms and put back on my feet. Love is what strengthened and healed me. I can’t find anything about love to not believe in. Not even 10% doubt.

Something else I believe in 100% - my husband. Because the other day, when I was in tears feeling completely defeated as my relationships and appliances were all exploding at the same time, I sobbed I’m losing everything. He took my hand and simply said, “Love wins.”

And even today, as one of my best friends is going through a heartbreaking awful experience, as are many of my sweet friends, I know we will all make it to the other side of this, because we’ll hold hands, form a chain and walk through that fire together. Because LOVE WINS.

And for anyone who might be mad at me for what I said about the Bible, please know that although I struggle with it every day, I have great respect for those of you with good solid faith. Truly. And anyway, like I said at the beginning of this blog…everything is only half true, so you can throw out the parts of this blog that you don’t like.

Except for the love part. That part is absolutely true.

Trust me on that one.

LOVE WINS.

200%.