Loving and Losing Stitch

I'm shattered. This morning, our beloved Stitch didn't greet me when I woke. He didn't come when he heard the can opener, and I thought that was odd. I called, and he didn't come. Evan and I found him lying still on the rug in the living room. As long as I live I will never be able to erase the heartbreaking image of Evan shaking Stitchy's lifeless body and shouting, "Stitchy! Wake up, wake up!"

Stitch was only nine years old. He wasn't sick. This was a complete shock.

Yesterday was a really good day. I was home all day. We took several walks in the field and he was happy and spry. I gave him a few treats. He ate all his dinner last night. And then, somehow, he passed away in his sleep. 

I always called Stitch my little gentleman. When we were walking through a door he'd always stop and look up at me, wait for me to pass through first. He was a gentle and considerate soul. He loved everybody. He never wanted to fight with other dogs or cats, he just wanted to be friends. I am still in disbelief that this has happened. I can't stop crying. This house doesn't feel like a home without him.
 
Many of you supported us when we fought for years in court to keep Stitch away from his former owner who had abused and abandoned him. You know the long journey and the struggle, how very hard we fought for him and how very very much we loved him. Stitch was no ordinary dog. He came to our lives to teach us courage, and how to stand up for something you believe in. I know that for the rest of my life I will carry the lessons I learned through loving this dog. Because of Stitch, we started the #SaveStitch campaign fighting for animal rights. After the L.A. Times, NPR and Fox News picked up the story, this case became a national conversation. In the courts we fought for pets to have the right to live in the home that is safest for them, rather than being treated as property to be returned to the owner, regardless of inhumane treatment. We lost our case and our appeal and weren't able to change the laws, but we held on to Stitch. After all that drama and 3 years of court battles, I don't know if we made a difference or not, but I do know that Stitch was able to live his life with us, in a home where he was loved beyond measure.

The short years we had him weren't nearly enough, and yet, I feel so fortunate to have had him at all. He blessed my life, and touched many others. He was my little gentleman. A piece of my heart goes with him...
(For those of you who don't know the story of Stitch, it's here. If you think I fight hard against gun violence, it's only because I learned how to stand up to bullies when I fought for Stitch; http://hollyedexter.blogspot.com/search/label/Save%20Stitch)

Update on the Stitch Case

Many of you have been asking for an update on Stitch, while we have been lying low over here. First let me assure you, Stitch is still happily with us, and is healthy and thriving. He and Evan are growing up strong together.

When this legal battle for Stitch began, I had hoped ours would be the precedent-setting case - the tipping point for overturning the Lost Property Statute in relation to family pets. But it wasn’t. As most of you know, in June of 2011, the judge awarded custody of Stitch to the plaintiff because of Lost Property Statute. (He also slapped the plaintiff with monetary damages, which we never asked for, and never collected). We immediately filed for an appeal. Our appeal was thrown out last July, 2012 (due to budget cuts in California courts). But we never gave Stitch up, and we continue to file motions. At this point, we will file motion after motion until the case burns itself out.

The interesting thing is that, although the plaintiff won custody of Stitch, he never attempted to claim him. He never contacted us, neither after the first or the second trial.

Stitchy on the news!

So Stitch is still with us and the case goes on and on in perpetuity. Limbo was not exactly the happily-ever-after ending I wanted. I wanted to change the law – for Stitch, for you, for all our pets. We didn’t change the law. But, at least we started a national conversation. We were on the news, front page of L.A. Times and many national newspapers, we were even on NPR. We got America buzzing about the issue of pet’s rights, verses “owner’s” rights. We made the point that our pets are loving sentient beings - guide dogs for the blind, therapy dogs for the sick, companions for our veterans.  I hope America’s eyes have been opened to the fact that pets are not property.

I guess at the end of the day, we do have our own version of a happy ending. The case drags on but we have Stitch and he is happy, healthy and loved. We thank all of you for your ongoing support and kindness through this long three-year battle. We never would have made it this far without you.

For backstory on the Stitch case, read: "Stitchy, the L.A. Times and the Painful Lesson Learned." 

OR

"All Because of  Little Dog Named Stitch"

Stitchy, the LA Times and the painful lesson learned.

So the L.A. Times has run an article on our Stitch story, and I have learned a huge lesson. When you open yourself to the press, you’re also open to the risk of things being misinterpreted – which can really hurt you-  and that is what happened here. While I understand that a journalist must present both sides of an issue, this journalist left out the most important parts of the story- the ones where Daveigh Chase locked Stitch in a room for days and eventually abandoned him, and where Soleil Brown admitted to losing him at least five times, didn’t go looking for him for days because he “figured he’d turn up”. Also the fact that Stitch was found in the middle of a highway, weak and sick, with a cigarette burn on his neck. Because she didn’t include those facts (all that were admitted in court- and I have numerous witnesses) it just looks like Brown is this poor guy whose dog was taken away. In the comments section of the story, we are being called “spiteful”, “selfish” and “disgusting”.

What this article neglects to mention is the reason we can’t turn Stitch over to Soleil Brown. I told this journalist, several times, I would never keep a dog away from an owner who loved and cared for him. That would be cruel. But we could not in good conscience, turn Stitch over into the hands of these people. In their care, he almost ended up dead.

Before we adopted Stitch in 2007, he had been passed around between a group of kids: Aaron Carter, Daveigh Chase, and Soleil Brown. This is a group of privileged Hollywood kids who spend their time partying and in nightclubs. Aaron Carter, who used to date Lindsay Lohan and has been in and out of rehab, was the original owner of Stitch, but he gave him away to Daveigh Chase, (the voice of Lilo in Lilo and Stitch, thus Stitch’s name). Daveigh was then a teenager, spending all her time in nightclubs. She locked Stitch in her room for days at a time without sunshine or exercise while she was out partying. Then she ran away from home at 16 with her adult boyfriend, Soleil Brown, abandoning Stitch. This is why her mother was looking for someone to adopt Stitch. Any of this can be googled. There is a paparazzi video of Daveigh saying Stitch is her dog. (google “Daveigh Chase is adopting a puppy”)  If you want to see pictures of Daviegh Chase guzzling tequila straight out of a bottle and various other nasty things, just check out her tumblr page (Daveigh Chase in your face). Or Soleil Brown’s online profile where his About Me sections says that he “hates everyone this good world has to offer”. These are the people who passed Stitch around like he was a toy. Daveigh’s mother told us that Stitch had been taken to wild parties where he was so distressed he jumped through a window and ran away.

After we adopted Stitch and had him licensed and microchipped, Brown falsely claimed the dog was his (because Daveigh was a minor and had no recourse) and filed a theft report against us with the police department, and although he had no proof or documentation that Stitch belonged to him, we were forced to return Stitch to Cathy Chase (Daveigh’s mother). Two years later, Stitch was found abandoned in the middle of a highway, sick, and with a cigarette burn on his neck. Because he was still microchipped to us and had no current tag, we were contacted. We made a ten hour trip to rescue him for a second time.

Brown didn’t put missing signs up for Stitch until eleven days after he went missing. I believe this is because Brown lives in Hawaii, and only comes to L.A. for some months out of the year. My question is – how can he own a dog in California, when he LIVES IN HAWAII?

I wondered if, when we went to court, we would learn something about Brown – that maybe we’d find out we were wrong, and he really was a good guy who loved Stitch. But that didn’t happen. Brown admitted in court that he had lost Stitch at least five times, that he let Stitch, a small French bulldog, run loose daily in the wilderness in Tahoe, where there are coyotes and bears. Even after losing Stitch numerous times, he never gave him a proper tag, never licensed nor microchipped him. Do those sound like the actions of someone who “loves their dog like a child”?  If a parent had “lost” a child five times, CPS would take the child away.

And in response to Brown’s former attorney JT Fox (in the article) saying he loved the dog? JT Fox dropped Brown as a client. I was there when he went to court to ask the judge to release him from the case. He told my attorney that Brown was an idiot who didn’t care about the dog. This whole thing was only about money. Brown was originally suing us in unlimited court for up to $50,000.

Again, everything we’ve done in this case has been what we believe is Stitch’s best interest. Stitch has lived with us for years, where he is safe and loved and has never once tried to run away. For those who have called us selfish and disgusting, I can only say this. We have spent thousands and thousands of dollars, and endured years of grief over this. Would a selfish person do that? We are doing what we believe is right, whether the court agrees or not. We aren’t concerned with anyone’s judgment. We only want to do what is right. Stitch deserves to live a happy and safe life. 

AUGUST 2013 UPDATE: It has been a year since I posted this blog, a year since our appeals were thrown out of court, 2 years since the plaintiff "won" custody of Stitch. He has not once tried to contact us or our attorney to retain custody. I think at this point, any judge in his or her right mind could plainly see that this never was about Stitch. It always was about money.

How To Be Happy (For No Good Reason)

On Thursday, as many of you know, we lost a second round of court battles for custody of our dog Stitch. After three years of fighting, fundraising, campaigning…you could say I was depressed. Extremely depressed, in fact.

The next morning, as I was driving to yoga, I was running the whole thing over in my mind. Why is this happening? What am I going to do? And there in front of me, a car had a bumper sticker which read, “Be persistent. PRESS ON.”  I knew it was the truth, but that truth was daunting to me. More fight. More legal bills. More court appearances. Add to that that we are simultaneously trying to figure out how to get our two-year old grandson (who was taken by his mother to Japan) back into our lives. I could barely hold my head up with the weight of all my worries.

That night, too exhausted to cook, Troy, Evan and I went out to dinner at a little hole in the wall Mexican joint we frequent. Our posture was slumped, our faces drawn, but our busboy cheerfully delivered water and greeted us with such exuberance we couldn’t help but smile back. In fact, all through our meal, Jose would breeze through with a big smile, refilling our waters, bringing us chips and salsa with a few kind words thrown in.

I was perplexed. In my mind I assessed (judged) his situation. I mean, here is this grey-haired guy in his sixties, working as a busboy at a Mexican restaurant in the Valley. How happy could he be? But he was, and just being around him throughout the meal, I felt my spirits lift a little.

As we were about to leave, I told him, “I’ve really enjoyed being around your happy attitude tonight. You’ve made our meal very pleasant.”

 “I’m olways heppy!” he said in a heavy accent.

“How?” I heard myself say, “I mean, how do you do it?”

He smiled, pointed to his head and said, “Jou decide.”

Troy shot me a knowing look.

In the Dalai Lama’s book, The Art of Happiness, he says more or less the same thing. Happiness is an attitude you cultivate. Challenges will come in life, but you can decide to be happy, anyway. The Dalai Lama says in order to achieve happiness: focus on the things that make you happy, and do those things. (Conversely, find the things that bring you unhappiness, and avoid those things.)

Simple enough, right? Ridiculously simple.

And yet how often I spend time lamenting over things that have happened in the past (like losing an appeal) or worrying about things that may happen in the future (like losing another appeal), when I could refocus my energy onto all I have to be grateful for right now. I can focus on the things that make me happy and do those things, no matter what other challenges come.

As Jose, our Dalai-Busboy said, “Every morning, jou wake up, you poot jour feet on the floor, say Gracias! Jou are alive!”

Wisdom is most often delivered when I least expect it. It can be in the form of a bumper sticker, or a cheerful busboy in Canoga Park. When I’m paying attention, the answers are there.

I’ve got a load of challenges on my plate right now, and at times they appear to be insurmountable, but I’ve also got choices in how I want to live.

I want to be happy.

I know that happiness, like a garden, must be cultivated. If my garden is choked with weeds, happiness can not thrive. It is my choice to weed out unhappiness, worry, negativity, and to nurture and water happiness.

Like my friend Jose said, “Jou decide…”

If We Win...

Here we are, at what we believe will be our final ruling in appeals court (but who knows with this case) in our fight to keep custody of our dog Stitch. We should be issued a preliminary ruling by 4pm today. If it is in our favor, all we have to do is show up tomorrow in court and happily accept. If it is not, we go to court with our attorney tomorrow to present oral arguments against the ruling. If we are ordered to turn Stitch over to the person who neglected and abandoned him years ago, we will fight.

We lost this case last year due to the Lost Property Statute, a law written 200 years ago, when even people were considered property. The judge who ruled against us referred repeatedly to Stitch as “it”, comparing Stitch to a bicycle. Our pets save lives, work alongside our police and military, visit sick children in hospitals, rehabilitate prisoners, guide the blind and disabled, benefit our health and longevity. They can not be left in hot cars, or abused, or used in fighting rings. Can you say the same about a bicycle? The Lost Property Statute of California is antiquated and must be overturned.

If we win tomorrow, not only do we get to keep Stitch in our happy home, ours will be a precedent-setting case which will show that pets are not property, they are sentient beings who deserve to be protected and loved. Our victory will be a step in the direction of compassion toward animals, which will benefit all pet owners.

But win or lose, through this long battle, I have gained more than I ever imagined. I have learned that the world is full of kind and gentle people who will reach out and help a total stranger. I have learned that I am much stronger than I knew. I have learned how to stand up for what I believe in. And I have learned to have faith.

Although I struggle with my faith, I do pray. Years ago, during a particularly dark time, I prayed and prayed for God to restore my faith in humanity. I believe Stitch was sent to us to show us how good people can be. Because of him, we have been flooded with compassion from all corners of the globe. How rare a gift we have been given. I do not take it for granted. Through all of the heartache, grief and expense, I consider Stitch an answered prayer.

In many ways, we have already won. We’ve been fortunate to work with our attorneys Jill Ryther and Shannon Keith, two of the world’s biggest animal advocates and finest people. We’ve met so many wonderful animal-loving folks. We’ve made new friends all over the globe. And most importantly, we have had the joy of sharing our lives with Stitch for the past three years. In every way we have been enriched by this long and crazy journey.

In these last few hours, I can only ask, if you are a praying person, that you pray the honorable judges of LA Superior court -Patti Jo McKay and Gregory Keosian- are guided by compassion as they make their final decision. Pray for Stitchy, that he is forever in his safe and loving home. If you aren’t a praying person, that’s okay, too. Just think good thoughts and believe in the best outcome.

I will update you all the MOMENT I have any news.

We want to thank the Los Angeles Times for getting behind us (will post the story when it runs) and Robin Sax at Fox 11 News for reaching out and supporting. Also the good people at the Ellen Show for contributing to the Save Stitch legal defense fund.

But above all we want to thank all of you, friends, family and strangers alike, for your words of support, your encouragement, your donations and your help. Thank you for sticking with us on this long journey. We never would have made it without you.

Keep the faith! Save Stitchy!

UPDATE 4:45 pm Wednesday:
FRUSTRATING COURT SYSTEM! The Superior court just filed their preliminary ruling. They are upholding the lower court ruling ( meaning we LOST) due to a technicality in paperwork  (the fact that there is no court reporter record, because in lower jurisdiction hearings- there is no court reporter!)

They refuse to hear our case tomorrow. BUT- now our attorney is going to file a writ to the higher court- the Federal Appeals Court. We are taking this fight to the top! We are not giving up!

Lucky

For the past few days, fear about our trial on Thursday has had me hiding under the covers, not answering the phone. I had to do something to get myself out of this negative place because fear is the WORST thing to feel when facing a huge life challenge.

I stayed up late last night watching an inspirational speech by Iyanla Vanzant (my favorite). She asked the audience, What is the deficiency in your life that you BELIEVE in? (because if you didn’t believe in it, it wouldn’t be happening).

People said different things:

I believe I’ll never lose weight

I believe I’ll never find love

I believe I’ll never have money

She said, If you believe it, you make it true.

I gave that question some serious thought and you know what I realized? I’ve always had a subconscious belief that I am unlucky- cursed, even. This is not a conscious belief, because on the surface, I always say how blessed I am to have my husband, my three healthy kids, my wonderful and loving friends. Blessed, but unlucky.

I’ve had some crazy things happen in my life – things that were very unlikely, and very unlucky.

What are the odds that my seven-year old brother would have been a victim of violent crime?

What are the odds that my house would erupt into flames in the middle of the night for no apparent reason? What are the odds that the fire department would take twenty minutes to get to the house because they couldn’t find it?

What are the odds that I’d adopt an abandoned dog and end up being sued over it?

What are the odds that my first grandchild would be abducted to another country?

Those odds are bad. I never gamble in Vegas.

Add to that, I’ve never won anything. Not a raffle, a lottery, a contest, a talent show (even though I am a professional entertainer)

And last year? I lost an UNLOSABLE trial.

So here I am, a year later, about to face the court again and yes, I’m terrified that I’ll be unlucky.

I KNOW I have to change this mindset, and change it quick.

Logically, I understand that just because I’ve never won anything, doesn’t mean I never will. Just because I’ve had unlucky things happen, doesn’t mean that’s the way my life will always be.

I’ve got to train myself to believe in good things again. Now is a good time for my luck to turn. Starting this Thursday, June the 7^th (Lucky 7!) my story changes. From now on, I am going to think of myself as a luck magnet. And not only that, a justice magnet, because this after all isn’t just about luck. This is about years of hard work, three fundraising concerts, a community yard sale, an online campaign, media campaign, countless writing, countless court appearances and thousands of people all over the world who are behind us. 

Starting June 7^th, I write a new life-storyline -- one in which all things are possible:

The judges are wowed by our attorney’s brilliant brief (and they very well should be) They overrule the lost property statute and we are declared the legal owners of Stitch. Happy tears are shed at the courthouse, hugs and cheering abound. I come home and post the happy news online and people all over the world celebrate because for once, justice has been served. For years to come, this trial is referenced as a precedent-setting case that saves other pets from the same fate. 

It doesn’t sound so far-fetched, does it?

You never know. I just might get lucky. 

(UPDATE! The court just rescheduled us until July 12th. I have no idea why, but I am deciding to consider this lucky, and for the best. - Hollye) 

Fighting the Courts to Keep our Dog!

Sometimes the law is just wrong.

It was wrong about slavery.
Wrong about prohibiting women from voting
Wrong when interracial marriage was prohibited.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.

And its dead wrong when it seeks to take our dog away because of an outdated  statute, which deems our pets nothing more than property, like a bicycle or a stereo.

On June 7th, the appeals court will decide whether our dog Stitch will be taken from us.

Here is our story on AOL Patch today:
Chatsworth Family Fights Court to Keep Their Dog

Here is a video of Stitch and our son Evan

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

This is a tale about a New Story and Three Miracles.

Yesterday, Troy and I had to make yet another trip to the appeals court in downtown L.A.. (If you are new to my blog and haven’t been following the long saga of our fight to keep our dog Stitch, the story is here.) We are currently in year three of a ridiculously drawn out battle that has been rife with jaw-dropping errors and bumbling ineptitude. The latest is that on January 3^rd, we filed our appeals brief. The plaintiff had 30 days to respond. He did not. We were waiting to hear what the court would decide. And waiting, and waiting…On Monday we were notified that the plaintiff filed a response three months late.  In line with the dazzling list of injustices that have occurred in this case, the court accepted it! Three months late!

Our attorney needed copies of this new response, so yesterday we set out for the courthouse with a pit in our stomachs. We anticipated the traffic, the expensive downtown parking ($24 for one hour), the incompetence of underpaid court workers. Documents would be lost, wrong case numbers would be filed, clerks would stare back at us with lack of concern. We knew the drill.

At the court, we asked for copies of this new, three-months late document.

“We don’t have your file,” an apathetic, goth clerk told us.

I turned to Troy and threw my hands in the air. “Of course they don’t have our file! Every time we come here it’s one problem after the next and blah blah blah…” and suddenly I stopped myself.

Just the day before, I had posted this blog, listing things I learned from Deepak Chopra, my favorite quote being: “The story you tell yourself becomes your experience in the world.”

“Wow,” I said to Troy, “Listen to me, anticipating the worst. I need to tell myself a new story.”

“Okay,” he said, “what’s your new story?”

I took a deep breath and centered myself, “The new story is…we are going to have a good experience in court today. We’re going to get the files we need, the clerks are going to be competent and friendly, and we’re going to get out of here before our parking meter runs out.”

And that is exactly what happened. Another clerk found our file easily, was smart and friendly, gave us the copies we needed, didn’t charge us (at 50 cents a page) and told us to have a great day. And we made it back three minutes before our parking meter expired. That has NEVER HAPPENED for us before. So that was MIRACLE #1.

Driving back, I worried about traffic, as we had to pick Evan up from school. As soon as we pulled onto the 405 onramp, we came to a dead stop. Bumper to bumper traffic. Ugh, we both groaned. This could take hours…

“New story!” Troy exclaimed, “I’m driving 90 all the way home!”

We both laughed heartily at this one.
“Good one, Honey!” I said. I mean, this was the 405 on a weekday.

But within moments, I kid you not, the traffic dissipated and we drove, not 90 but 70, all the way home to Chatsworth. If you live in L.A., you know that is MIRACLE #2.

And then, starving, we pulled into In N Out Burger, which has a long line at nine in the morning, at one in the morning, and three in the afternoon. In my entire life I’ve never been to In N Out when there wasn’t a long, long line. 

We pulled in at 12:30p.m. and laughingly said, “New story- no line at In N’ Out!”

And I know none of you Californians are going to believe me but I SWEAR- there was no line at In N Out Burger! NONE! At lunchtime!

That was a miracle of almost biblical proportion. That was MIRACLE #3.

Now I can’t say that all those things weren’t just coincidences, but what is the definition of a coincidence, anyway?

Coincidence: the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection.

(Merriam Webster Dictionary)

Hmmm…I told myself a new story. My circumstances changed. In that case, yeah, I guess I’d call that a coincidence.

Yes Virginia, There is Justice in the World

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts I received this Holiday season was a letter I received from the twelve-year-old daughter of a friend. This little girl, Emma, is unbelievably bright and has had to grow up fast, losing her father Scott, our friend, at only five years old. Her mother Denise has done a beautiful job of raising her, and this letter she sent shows how thoughtful and articulate she is. Her words have given me the push I needed to trudge into year three of this ridiculous fight for our Stitch.

Dear Hollye,

I was given a project by my Leadership teacher to write a letter to someone I admire and who I believe possesses courage. I immediately thought of you.

My mom told me the unbelievable fight you have been going through for over three years since you adopted your family dog Stitch….and the lawsuit against you demanding the dog back, asking over $25,000 for the dog they neglected.

Instead of returning Stitch to this horrible person, you chose to fight to keep this little dog that had become part of your family. You could have given Stitch to them and avoided the harassment, police and lawsuit, but you stood courageously beside your furry family member and became his voice.

My mom told me that your legal bills are very expensive and that you have had to have fundraisers, turn to your family and friends for help, set up an online store, and most recently have a garage sale to raise money for Stitch’s defense.

The saddest part is that you lost the trial because the judge decided that Stitch is property, like a bicycle, and had to be returned to the original owner. I think comparing an animal to a bike is just disgusting!

After all this, you could have thrown your hands up in the air and walked away. But you didn’t! You chose to fight for what is right for Stitch, no matter how much time or money it takes. To me, that is the definition of courage – having the mental and physical strength to fight for what is right and not just throw in the towel.

I will keep my fingers crossed and pray you win the appeal to keep Stitch. I will also continue to tell your story. I hope Stitch’s story will inspire others to have courage in life, find strength, and FIGHT ON!

I have three questions for you: (1) Where do you find the courage to keep fighting for Stitch, after everything that has happened?  (2) What is your definition of courage?  (3) Lastly, who do you admire most for their courage?

Thanks for being a leader and answering my letter!

Sincerely,

Emma

Darling Emma,

In the beginning of this case, I was encouraged by friends and family to fight for Stitch. Everyone, including my attorney, thought that ours was a slam dunk case that would never make it to trial. The judge would take one look at the ridiculous charges against us and throw it out. An abandoned and neglected dog who was adopted by a loving family would surely stay with the loving family, right? But that’s when we found out that life isn’t always fair.

After a grueling trial, over $10,000, and a year of fighting, we lost and were told to turn Stitch over to the plaintiff (who, incidentally never proved ownership). My friends tearfully advised me to let go at that point. We had been through so much stress, money, tears, they didn’t want to see us get hurt any more.

Our attorney said we could appeal, but even she, an animal rights advocate, wouldn’t blame us if we didn’t. Troy and I talked this over for days. We had always been law- abiding citizens, but sometimes laws are wrong. Slavery used to be legal. Not long ago, women weren’t allowed to vote or own property. And then there were Jim Crow laws, Prop 8…The only way to change things is to rise up and fight injustice. Troy and I wanted to face ourselves in the mirror every day without regrets. Turning Stitch over would have left us feeling cowardly and disheartened. So we decided to fight on.

We took the first steps into this appeal not knowing if anyone would have our backs, but thankfully, many have. Some have helped with money, some have offered kindness and encouragement, and prayers, all which has strengthened us. And then we get a letter like this from you, dear Emma, that makes it all worth it.

My definition of courage is doing what you know is right, even when it scares you, standing up against a bully, speaking up when it’s unpopular. Courage is feeling the fear and walking through it.

Who do I admire for their courage? I would say Nelson Mandela demonstrated the greatest courage, standing up against racial apartheid, being imprisoned for it, never backing down from what he knew was right. He changed his country and affected the world.

We are in a fight against the Property Statute Law, which states that animals are property, with no regard for their treatment or care, or even their lives. It’s a huge battle that many animal rights advocates have been fighting for years and years. There is a very strong possibility that we will lose, but we are staying positive and focusing on the end result. If we win, it would be a great victory for animal rights advocates and pet owners everywhere.

Emma, your letter has given us tremendous encouragement, and by sharing it here, you will be helping to open others’ eyes to the importance of animal rights.

Thank you for being such a thoughtful and caring girl, and good luck on your project.

Love,

Hollye

* to read more and see how you can help our case: SAVE STITCH
Friend us on facebook at Stitchy the Wonder Dog

All Because of a Little Dog Named Stitch

This is why we fight.

Over the past two years of this insane trial, I have spent a lot of time asking WHY? We are good people who only wanted to give an abandoned dog a good home. Why all this insanity?

I prayed and prayed for help. And what I got instead was more drama.

But lately I’ve realized something.

When I prayed for help, I was given opportunities to help myself. When I prayed for courage, I got opportunities to be courageous. When I prayed for the money to get through this, I was given opportunities to be valuable and work hard. I  got to see how charitable and loving people can be. Complete strangers have financed a good portion of this lawsuit.

Through all of this trial, and believe me, it’s been a trial on every level, I’ve been given the gift of courage. Courage is a muscle that only becomes strong with use. Just like a workout at the gym, no one can give you strength. It only comes from working that muscle and working it hard.

Some people don’t understand why we’ve turned our life upside down and gone into financial crisis over a little dog, and that’s okay. They’ve not walked in our shoes, and I’m sure it’s hard to understand. But sometimes in life you’re given a chance to fight for something you believe in. It never comes at an opportune time, but when it comes, you get to see what you’re made of.

Troy and I are being made into something more than we were when we started this fight.

We are braver, stronger, and have more faith in people. We may have lost some money in the past few years, but what we gained is something that can never be taken from us.

And all because of a little dog named Stitch.

For the background story, newspaper articles, the petition and more, see SaveStitch

Barnum and Bailey presents: The Stitch Trial

(Cue circus music…) I barely know where to begin, but it will require all my restraint to not fill this blog with expletives. (Let me just get it out real fast…#**%^&*#%^&**^!!!)

We have just returned from yet another shocker of a day in court, fighting for the right to keep our dog.

For anyone who is new to this story, all the details are HERE.

For those who’ve been following all along, you know that In September the plaintiff’s attorney dropped him. He appeared before the judge to be officially “released”, claiming his client wouldn’t return his calls nor pay him.

Our attorney, Jill Ryther, then called and emailed the plaintiff numerous times and got no response. It seemed clear to everyone that since “winning” custody of Stitch five months ago, but “losing” all monetary motions against us, the plaintiff had lost interest.

Monday we were called to court by the judge to state why nothing had been resolved on either side. The plaintiff did not show up, and unfortunately, neither did the judge. We were rescheduled to today. We showed up on time. Our case was the first call at 8:30 am. No plaintiff in sight. And then as our attorney is presenting to the judge, the clerk interrupts, “The plaintiff’s attorney called and is running late. He says he’ll be here at nine.”

“Oh okay,” says the judge, “we’ll reconvene at nine.”

WHAT????

This was wrong on so many levels…First of all, what attorney? And why are attorneys permitted to waste the court’s time by showing up late?

Sure enough at 9 am, the attorney who had asked to be released from the case, (“Fox” is his name, by the way), strolls in half an hour late. For the past two years, he has shown up late to every hearing, been a no-show at three court appointed dates, and most recently dropped his client. And yet, he receives no penalty, not even an admonishment by the court.

The court has ordered the plaintiff to appear in court several times and he has no-showed, and yet, nothing happens. We keep waiting for the judge to say this is ridiculous, and throw the whole thing out. But he doesn’t.

Fox says his client is not able to be there because he is “receiving medical treatment” (I instantly remember why the original owner of the dog wasn’t at trial- he too was “receiving medical treatment” in “rehab”). Thankfully the judge tells Fox he can not represent the client as he was released from the case. He tells him to take a seat. Even still, as our attorney presents our side, Fox jumps up and argues against her, and the judge ALLOWS IT! ( circus music…)

I could go on and on with my frustrations about this case, but I’ll spare you and give you the results from today: Five months ago we lost legal custody of Stitch and immediately filed an appeal. Since then we have been fighting to retain custody of Stitch during the appeals process, which could take another year. Today we were granted temporary custody pending appeal. We have to pay the court $2000 in collateral to assure that we don’t run off with Stitch in the interim. And we have to pay our attorney to write a 20 page appeals brief and filing fees. Then we have to go to appeals court, some time in 2012. The whole crux of our appeal is we are trying to prove the court’s ruling was wrong-  that a family pet is not property. Stitch is a sentient being with needs and rights, and his well-being should be first consideration. A bicycle is property. You can leave a bicycle in a hot car without any repercussions. You can not do that with a dog. See that, courts? NOT THE SAME THING! We will be submitting the Save Stitch petition with our appeals brief, so if you haven’t signed it yet, please do! And spread the word! (it's at the top right corner of this page, or on our website)

AND- just in time for the Holidays….the Stitch store is re-opening. Wouldn’t you love to buy Holiday gifts from Stitch this year? Every penny you spend goes to Stitch’s legal defense fund! Help us fight this stupid law and make the world a safer place for animals!

Please visit our website where you can sign the petition, shop at our Save Stitch Store, read the whole background story, plus blogs and newspaper articles written about our case. 

SaveStitch.webs.com

Thank you to everyone who has supported us through this whole ordeal. This is a fight we have taken on together. There is no way Troy and I would still be standing strong without all of you behind us. THANK YOU!

Climbing the Mountain

News flash…none of us is getting through this alone, and by this I’m talking about the crazy journey called life. And here's what recently drove this bit of information home for me.

Last week, as I was getting ready for the Save Stitch house concert at the Sears family home, I turned on 20/20. Although I was bustling about, packing things up and preparing music, a particular segment about a phenomenal, brave man grabbed me, and I had to sit down and watch.

Chris Waddell was twenty years old when a skiing accident rendered him paraplegic. Although I’m sure initially he had many dark days coming to terms with his new reality, ultimately he did not let this disability slow his life, nor dampen his dreams.

He became a champion skier again, without the use of his legs. But that wasn’t enough for him.

He decided to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. He found a film company to make a documentary about his quest, then put his dream into motion. In a specially equipped handcycle, he slowly made his way up the mountain, sometimes able to turn his front wheel only one revolution an hour, thus the name of his film “One Revolution”. He was determined to prove to the world, but perhaps above all to himself, that he was strong and capable, and that this injury was not going to rob him of his independence.

But by the time he got within 100 feet of the mountaintop, the terrain became impossible for him to manuever. His wheels simply would not turn over the crags and rocks. His team laid down two by fours for him but it was impossible, the mountain was too steep and rocky. At that point, they picked him up and began carrying him.  He shouted for them to put him down, that he would do this on his own. That’s when one of the main advisors on the film took him aside to have a talk.

“Don’t you understand,” he said, “that no one climbs a mountain alone?”

And this is the part where I started to bawl. Because I was on my way to this beautiful fundraising house concert (for Stitch's legal fees) being lovingly given to me, a gift of kindness, from the Sears family. And another from the Browne family on August 14^th. Just given, freely, with love and compassion.

There were moments I almost collapsed under the pressure from this trial. I was losing. I had no money, no energy or fight left. Troy and I went as far as we could, and when we fell, our friends picked us up and carried us. All of you.

We are not climbing this mountain alone.

Nor are you, my friends…

Amy Ferris didn’t face her biggest fear, confronting her brother, alone.

(See the story here, and read the 60 comments from friends around the country who rallied behind her: http://marryinggeorgeclooney.com/blog/2011/07/24/gonna-take-a-sentimental-journey/)

Amy Wise is not fighting her court battle alone. 

Erin and Beth didn’t win their right to marry alone.

Georgie is not starting a business alone. Linda didn't start her radio show alone.

Monica is not raising her son with autism alone.

Dani, a single mom, is not raising her girls alone.

None of us are climbing a mountain alone, nor should we. That’s what’s hard to grasp at times. We don’t want anyone to pick us up and carry us the last 100 feet. We want to do it all ourselves. But that’s not what being human is all about. We are here to help each other when the road becomes impossible. And we are also here to accept love and friendship when we need to be carried, for in doing so, the givers are also blessed.

This has been a huge lesson for me the last two years, and something I will never forget. I hope you will keep this statement in your hearts when your road is impossible.

No one climbs a mountain alone.

http://www.one-revolution.com/

The Struggling Optimist

Stitch and Frank "helping" me, as I type away, fighting for justice.
(you may notice the laundry piling up behind me. Yeah.)

Although I am always seeking hope and looking for the bright side in my writing,  I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as an optimist for I truly have my cynical side. I’ve seen the manipulation and politics behind the justice system, and know from personal experience that there are people in the world who will try to hurt you for their own gain. We’ve all watched trials where murderers walked away scot-free, and innocent people paid for it. And then of course, there was our situation, losing our slam-dunk “un-losable” trial.

But in spite of my cynicism, here’s something that brought great hope to my heart this morning: People from all over the world are signing our petition to Save Stitch. We have signatures from the U.K., Australia, France, Fiji. And the comments! My eyes welled up with tears reading them.  It’s astounding to me the goodness that is out there, and it only takes one rotten action by one person behaving badly to bring that goodness about.

This isn’t the first time we’ve experienced compassion in action. Sixteen years ago when our house burned down and we lost everything, we were lifted back on our feet by friends, family, and even strangers. Churches and synagogues held donation drives for us. It was right before Christmas, and the staff of a local hospital even hired a Santa to deliver new toys to my children. The true beauty that we all are capable of rises to the surface when disaster strikes, and it appears to me that the good-hearted folks far outweigh the bad. (Or am I just being optimistic?)

A friend posed that age-old question to me the other day, Why do bad things happen to good people? Without really thinking, I answered, Because good people are the ones who will stand up and fight.

If you think about it, none of us were born activists. It evolved from some painful experience that was so intolerable we had to do something about it.

Through this Stitch trial, I have become connected to the most amazing people in the animal rescue world. Selfless, devoted people who give of themselves, every day. I can only imagine the stories each of them has- the experiences that led them there.

It makes me wonder, is this why bad things happen to good people (and good dogs)? Is it so we can rise to the very best in us? Would we not grow and stretch and find courage otherwise?

Hmmmm….


(for more info on our case: http://savestitch.webs.com)

Evolution of a Blog

Thank you for the gift you have given me.

When I started this blog a year and a half ago, I was writing about the trials and tribulations of the writer’s life - the agent rejections, the self-doubts, the pressing urge to write anyway. Never in a million years did I think this blog would become the Dexter SAGA. Never did I imagine I would be on the frontlines of animal activism. But, like my friend Monica Holloway said to me, sometimes life taps you for a cause. You may have never seen it coming but one day there you are, rising up to a fight you didn’t know was in you. Monica is now one of the main spokespersons for Autism awareness. It certainly wasn’t what she had dreamed of as a little girl, but life, as they say, is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.

So here I am.

For anyone who is new to this blog, suffice it to say the past two years have been a whirlwind of drama (and yet blessings sandwiched in there, somehow).

Just a few weeks ago, for instance, I had an amazing miracle of a day: I was Monica’s guest at a private luncheon for Michelle Obama. I was on cloud nine. We laughed and ate and drank wine and were transfixed and inspired by Michelle. Then, as soon as I got home, still walking on air, I got an email from my attorney that our request to keep our dog Stitch during the appeal process had been denied, and now we had to appear in court to beg again. Right after that I got a phone call that the job I had just clinched (which was going to pay for my attorney) had fallen through.  For some reason, that’s how most of my days have been for the past two years. I can’t even bask in a happy moment for a full 24 hours before the next storm hits.

My life hasn’t always been this way. Thank God I’m an obsessive journaler. I can look back at the years 2005-2009 and see what peaceful, happy years they were. But 2010 and 2011…not so much. Luckily (or actually NOT luckily) this has happened to us before. 1995 and 1996 were hellish years. Our house burned down with both our businesses in it, so we were homeless, jobless, hopeless. But we made it through those times, and that is how I know we will make it through these. I learned then that when you are walking through the dark valley of your life, there is no other way but through. You may look for a way to catapult yourself over it, to fly over it, to avoid it by numbing yourself with substances or addictions…but it doesn’t work. You just have to keep trudging through the muck. So that is what we’re doing. And that’s what this blog is for me…a place to trudge through, to sort it all out in my head. If I was walking through life with all this trapped inside me, my brain would be like a hornet’s nest, full of confusing angry thoughts. But instead, you’ve given me a space to put it all out there and connect to others who “get it”.

So for that I want to thank you today. Thanks for sticking with my blog through it’s evolution, and all it’s ups and downs. Thank you for caring, for reading, for commenting to let me know I’m not the only one toughing it out right now. You have been my safety net over troubled waters, and I hope I return the favor.

You've given me a true gift. You guys rock.

The Injustice System

This is a painting that hangs above my bed - of a statue I saw in front of a Memphis courthouse years ago, when I was just moseying around being a tourist. Little did I know what future meaning it held, and how it would become the battle cry of my life.

This morning, as I was getting ready to appear in court again, my husband asked how I slept last night. As I stopped to think about it, I literally could not remember the last time I slept well. I can’t remember what it’s like to NOT wake up at 4 am and toss and turn for hours with my mind full of worry.

I want justice, but the court system has not delivered. And what does justice look like anyway?

Every day through this trial, I have asked myself if we’re doing the right thing. What is the deeper, spiritual reason for all of this? Why is this guy suing us for a dog that he didn’t even realize was missing until a day later, a dog he left with others for months at a time while he went off to live in his other home in Hawaii…Why? At first, since he was suing us in unlimited court (up to $50,000) I thought it was merely for money. But now the judge has awarded him Stitch, but no money, and in fact he ordered the plaintiff to pay us for all the care we gave Stitch in the past year and a half (over a thousand dollars), and still he’s fighting. So why does he want Stitch? Why this fight?

In court, he proved himself to be negligent. In his own words, he let Stitch run free on a 50 acre property, and Stitch would sometimes go missing for a day or so, and that was no big deal to him. By his own admission, he’d lost him in L.A. twice, too. After losing him on numerous occasions, he never licensed nor microchipped Stitch. So why the sudden interest? Ego? A sense of entitlement? Or just a simple power struggle?

Why this fight?

I would never withhold a dog from someone I believed owned, and truly loved him. But in this case, I don’t believe either to be true. Even the judge wrote in his final ruling that the plaintiff’s case “lacked credibility” and that there was “no physical proof” of ownership. (I know…unbelieveable, right?) So I’m fighting. I’m fighting for Stitch because I fear what would happen to him in this guy’s care.

Driving to court this morning, I was feeling disheartened so I turned on the radio, hoping music would lift my spirits. There was Neil Young, sorrowfully droning on…helpless, helpless, helpless….I became more depressed. Yes, I feel helpless. Totally and completely helpless. What does it all mean? Am I to surrender? But what about Stitch- maybe that song is really about him. He is completely helpless. He has no voice but ours.

I have prayed and prayed for resolve with this trial, and gotten nothing but murky, fuzzy situations in response. So I decided to pray for a specific sign. I asked the following:

“If I’m supposed to fight, show me a white feather. If I’m supposed to retreat, show me a black feather.” But there were no feathers…

So I went to court, and because of a freeking clerical error, we have to go back next week. What a waste of a sleepless night! And then…when I got home, there was a small peacock feather on my porch: gray with blue tips.

 

Really?

Yesterday, the opposing attorney said to our attorney, “I’m bringing in the big guns to take the Dexters down.” And all because we adopted an abandoned dog. This is insanity. How the hell did we get to this point?

I’m an anti-war girl, and yet here I am smack dab in the middle of one, and as Troy said we’re “out of bullets.” How are we going to pay for this? Where will we find the strength to keep going? But what choice do we have but to fight for Stitch? Do we turn our backs on him because it’s too hard?

I remember hearing President Obama say in the midst of his own struggles, “Power concedes nothing without a fight.” So true. No true change has ever come about because all of a sudden one day someone said Hey, this isn’t fair and then wham-o, the scales of justice were balanced. Women who fought for the right to vote were imprisoned and starved, civil right activists were beaten and sprayed with hoses, and don’t even get me started on Prop 8 (and wow…suddenly this idea of fighting is becoming very unappealing). But if we just stay silent, or back down when there is injustice, then what do we stand for?

my "writing partners" in my "office".

We are really taking a leap with this appeal, hoping the net will appear. For now, I will walk through each day as it comes. My writing partners and I will continue working on the case, and promise to keep you updated.

I hope and pray we are doing the right thing.

Oh Gray feather, how you taunt me.