Good News- the world is NOT ending!

Ever since the beginning of time, man has been predicting our doom and the imminent end of the world. The prophecies and the prophets have come and gone throughout the ages, and still...nothin'. I'm not an anthropologist but as a self-proclaimed armchair psychiatrist, I'd guess it has to do with fear of our own individual mortality, projected onto the entire world - If I'm goin' down, you're all goin' down with me!

I've written in previous years about other "End of the World" proclamations that never happened. (See: Chicken Little Bought a Billboard  and It's the End of the World as We Know It- Again )
However, in spite of these numerous claims of certain death throughout history, the Earth continues to turn, and we are here to create more seasons of Jersey Shore and other such great advancements in humanity.

The world is not ending on December 21st- no matter what the Mayan calender rumors say. For one thing, that's my niece Carly's birthday. Also, I'm going to Costa Rica in June, so the world can't end before that. But if you don't believe me, believe the scientists. Griffith Observatory explains it best - how the Mayan calendar myth came to be, and why the rumor is hogwash. This is from their website:

The Maya calendar is not spooling up the thread of time. It is coming to the end of a particular cycle in an unending sequence of cycles. According to the rules of the Maya calendar system, a primary interval, Baktun 13, for all practical purposes ends on the winter solstice, 2012. Although pseudoscientific claims have linked this calendrical curiosity to a Maya prophecy of the end of time, there is no evidence for ancient Maya belief in the world's end in 2012 or even in any unusual significance to the cycle's completion.

The Maya calendar relied on multiple cycles of time. In Maya tradition, these cycles of time run far into the future, and there are ancient Maya hieroglyphic inscriptions that project time into the future well beyond 21 December 2012. At the end of Baktun 13 (a period of 144,000 days or 394 years), a new baktun will begin. There is no Baktun-13 end of time. The notion of a Baktun-13 transformational end of time is modern. It originated in Mexico Mystique, a book published in 1975 by an American writer, Frank Waters, who made computational errors.

Read more about it at the Griffith Observatory website: THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING. And do us all a favor- spread the word. Let's eradicate this silliness so we can all get on with the business of enjoying our dysfunctional family holidays.

SHEESH.


* Looking for something positive to do on 12/21/12? Join with souls all over the world and participate in a worldwide 3 minute meditation for peace. Details here: www.onebillionoms.com

Chicken Little Bought A Billboard

Have you seen the billboards? The world is ending on May 21^st, 2011. Seems the Mayans and Ashton Kutcher got it wrong. We have even less time than we thought to clean our closets, do our taxes, lose ten pounds ( I mean you want to look good for the Rapture)…oh yeah, and get that whole salvation thing happening. The billboards do offer this advice: Cry mightily unto God for His mercy, and while you’re at it…tune into FamilyRadio.com.

Seriously?

That is the most overused trick in the book these days…manipulate people through fear to boost ratings. WWJD? Your ass better HOPE he’s not really coming in May cause ooooowweeee, he’s gonna be pissed at you, Family Radio. If you think he got mad flipping over the tables in that marketplace, just wait till he gets wind of your scam.

Over 1,000 of these offensive billboards have gone up worldwide. Can you imagine the financial backing for this madness? 120 of them are in L.A., you know, where the heathens hang out. 

Turns out the character behind “family” radio is eighty-nine-year old Harold Camping, who, apparently, has a direct line to the big Guy. He previously wrote a book stating that the world would end Sept 6, 1994. Hmmm... I'm imagining the celestial phone call. Uh, yeah Harold? Listen, somethings come up. I'm gonna have to reschedule. I mean, really. How many times do you expect people to fall for this, Chicken Little? This end of the world stuff has been going on since the beginning of time, and I’m not buyin’ it. (See my previous blog: http://hollyedexter.blogspot.com/2010/12/end-is-nearagain.html )

Look, I’m all for free speech, but there have got to be limits.

It’s illegal to shout “fire” in a theatre, to crack bomb jokes in an airport, and to make death threats, so why is it legal to pump people full of false fear, to say on a billboard: You’re all gonna die in two months? And while we’re at it, why is it legal for politicians and journalists to knowingly lie to the public (Death panels, anyone) ? And why is it legal to spread nutball government conspiracy theories on television and call it journalism? Limits. I’m telling you.

Children are reading these billboards. My five year old reads, okay? If television limits what children are exposed to, then why not the same for billboards, and  the Westboro Baptist Church holding signs on the street that say “God Hates Fags”?  Don’t get me started on those guys.  First of all, I take offense to them calling themselves “Baptist”. My father is a Baptist preacher, and my two gay brothers are welcomed with open arms in his church. I know Baptists, WBC, and you sirs, are no Baptists.

When confronted with the notion that this might be a cheap publicity stunt, Family Radio spokesman Tom Evans replied, "What good would that do? If May 22nd comes (and Christ has not returned), we're just going to look like a bunch of idiots."

Well, thank you Mr. Evans for taking the words right out of my mouth.

( More info on this story in the L.A. Daily News: http://www.dailynews.com/news/ci_17485179)

The Other Shoe

Last night I woke at 3 am to worry. It’s my job. I do it for my family so they don’t have to, and I usually punch the timeclock at around 3 or 4 am. Another part of this job is to wander the house “checking” on things. Make sure everyone is breathing, doublecheck that all the doors are locked, no fires smoldering anywhere…you know.

What is it about worry? Do we think that if we worry enough about something, we’ll somehow protect ourselves from it happening to us? Take for instance the constant worry of mankind that the world will end soon – which we’ve been worried about since the beginning of time. It never happens, it likely never will, and yet we worry. Worry is such a ridiculous waste of energy. It helps nothing and only stresses and wears down our health and immune system (yet something else to worry about). If I could accumulate all the time and energy I’ve spent on worry, and reapply it to something positive in my life, what wonders could occur.

This particular night, I was worried about my dog. In the last four years, I have watched two of my dogs die a long painful death from some type of mysterious cancer that the vets couldn’t quite peg. And now the only dog I have left was suffering some type of allergy, itching all the time (common to French Bulldogs) and my goodness….he looked a little thinner to me, even though Troy thought he looked the same as always.

Nonetheless my eyes flew open at 3 am, and my mind was on alert – Okay, ready to worry. Let’s do this.

Then I realized now nutballs I am and instead used the time to talk myself down. Really, he looks the same, he acts the same, he’s only four years old and he’s itchy. That’s it. He’s not dying of cancer. So why not just focus on his good health, pray for continued good health, and trust that everything will be okay? So I prayed, and lied awake, and still worried.

In the morning I talked to Troy about it (who is not at all worried about the perfectly healthy, itchy dog). I told him that I myself sort of feel like a dog, one who’s been kicked for a while with repeated bad surprises from life, the kind of dog who recoils when you go to pet him for fear you’re just going to whack him on the head. That’s how much I trust life….goes back to what I said in my last post about waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And that’s when Troy said this to me -

“Honey, everything is okay. It’s a new year, a new beginning. The other shoe is not going to drop. And if it does, we’ll just dance like hell on the one shoe we have left.”

And that is reason number 1057 I love my husband. It also is the end of this blogpost because really….how can I top that?

It's the End of the World As We Know It....again.

Wow. I just read an article in which Ashton Kutcher was interviewed about his rigorous fitness training regime. He actually admitted that he was training for the End of Days, so he could protect his family when Armageddon comes in 2012. No, he was not joking. And he has, what - something like a million followers on Twitter?

Oh, brother. Here we go again…

The End of Days has been predicted since the beginning of recorded history, possibly from the beginning of time. I’m sure there were cavemen that predicted it in hieroglyphs on a cave somewhere every time a shooting star went across the sky.

If you are to believe the Bible in it’s literal sense, when Jesus spoke to his followers about the end of Days, he said, "this generation will not pass away till all these things take place" (Matthew 24:34). And yet, that generation did pass away, and those things did not take place. So Christians got loose with the translation, believing it could still happen at any time.

Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormons, said it would happen in 1890. The Shakers believed it would happen in 1792. Not so, said the Methodists – it will be 1794! Jehovah’s Witnesses said it would happen in 1914…on and on and on. And every natural disaster, earthquake, plague, war, was an indicator that the end was near. Don’t even get me started on how many times Pat Robertson has predicted it.

In my lifetime, I can remember hearing about it since I was a very little girl, practicing drop drills, huddled under our desks for when the A-bomb would eventually be dropped on us. And hey, how about the Cold War in the 80s….the huge Armageddon that was going to occur between Russia and the USA? It was all right there, predicted in the Bible…the “beasts” were the Eagle (USA) and the Bear (Russia). In fact, here’s an article written for the Atlantic in 1982- when everyone was preparing for the Armageddon of (cue scary music)…1984! I mean, even David Bowie sang about that one. http://www.theatlantic.com/past/docs/issues/82jun/martin.htm

How about that Haley’s comet scare that led all those nutty people to commit suicide? Oh and let’s not forget Y2K- that was going to wipe out computers all over the world, leading to panic and mayhem in the streets, ending the world as we knew it. Remember stocking up on fresh water and canned goods, just in case?

So now it’s coming up on 2012 and our doom is just around the corner….

Puh-leeze.

My prediction for 2012? Water distributors are going to make a fortune, and Ashton Kutcher is going to be really buff. Then 2013 is going to come around and we’re all going to start obsessing on some other possible date upon which the disaster could happen.

Here’s the way I see it. We’re all going to die one day and that scares the hell out of us. Because it’s not going to happen to all of us on the same day in some fantastic display of fireworks and battle of good and evil like a Hollywood movie. It will most likely happen quietly, when we’re old and frail and our body gives out. But we don’t like the thought of slipping away quietly into the night. We don’t want to believe that we’re really so small and powerless. Our egos need to feel that we are so fantastic it would take Armageddon to wipe us out- and then not even Armageddon, because many of us, (like Sarah Palin for instance) believe we are “chosen” and will ascend above the mayhem. And suddenly we feel more secure, more in control, superior even, because we know the end of the story.

Could that be it?

Here’s my advice: Live.

There is never any guarantee of security, or life, or safety. So just live.

We are all “chosen”. God made every one of us, and in doing so, God “chose” us to live.

So LIVE!

Live well. Love others. Be a good person. Live in possibility, not fear. Make the most of every day, knowing that we have no control over the Universe. Leave that part to God.

And get comfortable with living in the mystery, because as Shakespeare said, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

And maybe stop following Ashton Kutcher on Twitter. Just sayin’.