How to Push Through Resistance

 

To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Remember that from science class? And so it is that in every positive action you take, you are sure to encounter resistance in some form.

Resistance with a Capital R

Stephen Pressman, bestselling author of novels like Bagger Vance, says in his book The War of Art that resistance, like gravity,  is a natural force in the Universe. You will meet it all throughout your life. He says that you will especially find it when you are taking a big step in a positive direction. The pursuing of any creative dream, social activism, new relationships -  all will fall prey to the big R at some point. The point is to not be deterred by it. Here was the huge lesson for me. I have encountered resistance in the Universe every time I have tried to create positive change in the world. I’m certainly finding it, big time, in my activism for gun reform. I experienced huge resistance with my nonprofit programs for at-risk youth (lost funding, the flailing foster care system, difficult people who blocked our progress, etc.). I took it all very personally. After 8 years of fighting resistance I sort of felt the Universe was punishing me. I eventually gave up.

But now I think I get it. Every success is at some point met with failure. Think of every successful person you know. They are sure to have overcome a huge obstacle to get to where they are. We don’t take it personally that we are tethered to the ground by gravity. Nor should we be set back by resistance.

But resistance is not always an outside force. Often, Pressman says, resistance comes from ourselves in the form of the ego. But here’s where it all shifts for me. He says those resistant voices in your head that say You can’t do it.  You’re crazy. You’re not good enough, smart enough, educated, talented, tall, short whatever it is you’re not enough…none of that is you.

Huh?

That’s right. He says that voice is just resistance, that natural force in the universe. Resistance is not you. YOU are a pure, creative, loving spirit. Anything that is not pure, creative and loving is not the real you. How do you like that? So the next time that negative voice starts yammering away in your head, you don’t have to listen to it. It’s not you! Tune it out.

So what do we do when we meet with resistance? Pressman says we acknowledge it for the harmless natural force it is. We don’t take it personally or get upset. We persevere, and we push through it. Success and happiness are on the other side. Keep your eye on the prize.

Or to quote Pressman, "Put your ass where your heart is."

Check out this interview with Oprah and Pressman on Super Soul Sunday:

Why Oprah Had Trouble Writing Her Harvard Commencement Speech

Author Steven Pressfield says that in order to find your calling, you must put your "a** where your heart wants to be." The one thing that keeps us from sitting down, he says, is resistance. Watch as he helps Oprah work through why she procrastinated on writing her Harvard commencement speech. Plus, learn why every dream encounters resistance along the way.

Yes Is the Word

Years ago, my husband Troy (a professional musician/composer) took a comedy improv class. For him, it was like bungee jumping-- saying yes to something that scared him. He ended up staying in the program and performing every Friday night for over a year, and sees it as one of the best things he ever did.

In improv, you always say yes to the scene. If your scene partner puts a leash on you and begins to parade you around the stage, then yes, you are a prize pooch in the Westminster Dog Show. Of course much of this is fun and games, but on a larger scale Troy learned how to say yes to life, rather than resist the “scenes” that were handed us. For instance, when we were in our forties with our daughter in college and son in high school, I sat Troy down and told him I was pregnant. He didn’t freak out (though it would have been justified). He said yes to that scene. All through my pregnancy with Evan, I attended Troy’s Friday night comedy performances. I loved it, and I too learned the importance of saying yes. A few years later when our son Taylor sat us down in the living room and told us his Japanese exchange-student girlfriend was pregnant, we said yes to that scene, too. And to many more scenes since…

One of my favorite comedies was “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey. In the film he is sort of a pessimistic curmudgeon who is challenged by a motivational speaker to say yes to every opportunity that comes his way. He begins to say yes to danger, risk, love and adventure. Of course a few things go haywire because he has no boundaries and doesn’t say no to the things he should. But by saying yes to opportunities he once hid from, his life opens up. He finds love. His career takes off. His friendships deepen. The deepest desires of his heart, ones he had not allowed himself to feel, begin to take root

This word yes is popping up for me a lot lately, and I am paying attention. Last week on Super Soul Sunday, Oprah was interviewing pastor Rob Bell (author of Love Wins).

“How do you define prayer?” she asked

“One word,” he said, “Yes.”  Bell says we should wake up every day and approach our lives with wonder. Greet the morning with, “Yes, I’m open. What’s next?”

Author Steven Pressman (The War of Art) also believes in the power of yes. He says that we all have two lives; the life we are living, and the unlived life. The only reason we have an unlived life is because we haven’t said yes to it.

Our friends Julie and Mary set a fine example. They have an engraved brass plaque on their front door which reads, “The House of Yes.” And these are two women who are definitely living the life of their dreams.

This morning in my meditation, I said yes. Yes. I’m open. What’s next? It feels both scary and exhilarating, but I am ready to step into the fullness of who I am, who I can be. I’m ready to stretch my limits and explore my potential. I am ready for new experiences and adventures. I am ready to approach my life with love and wonder.

YES.

My Meditation Challenge

 

Last week, Deepak Chopra was on Oprah's life-changing show "Super Soul Sunday" speaking about inner peace, abundance, happiness, and how it can be attained through meditation. He offered viewers to take his 21-day meditation challenge – though I think it’s funny to call it a “challenge” when it is the most peaceful, least challenging thing you can do- and just see how it changes your life. I signed up.

I’ve meditated on and off since I was 20 years old. At that time, I was following the teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda ( read Autobiography of a Yogi in college, and was hooked). I meditated 45 minutes every morning and every night, and fasted every Monday. Back then, mostly I just fought with my young self in every meditation--got mad at myself for having such noisy thoughts, mad at the world for distracting me. I didn’t reach any state of nirvana, but I still think it was good for me. I meditated the whole time I was pregnant with my daughter Cristen, and I believe it made her the strong person that she is.

Since then, I’ve been faithful, fallen away, then come back to the practice many times. I’ve busied myself with other “more important” things (than my own inner peace…imagine that!)

It was meditation that led me to my writing career. It was through meditation that all my ideas for my nonprofit organization came, as well as all the plans for the workshops and programs. It was through prayer and meditation that I found my biological father. So how have I let it slip from my life again?

Deepak said that prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening. This is the perfect time in my life to listen.

So I began this daily meditation on Monday, and this is how I’ve been affected by it.

Monday: After meditation that morning, I had a career setback. Something I had waited for months to happen, fell through. Normally, I would have been crushed by something like this, but this time I didn’t get upset. I trusted that it was only a temporary setback, and still felt positive and hopeful about my project.

Tuesday: On election day, I seemed to be the only one in my circle of friends who was relatively calm. Four years ago I was kind of a wreck, but this time I knew everything was going to work out, and it did.

Wednesday: I found myself feeling peaceful toward people, even when they were posting angry post-election rants on facebook. I didn’t take any of it to heart.

Thursday: I began thinking a lot about the fractures in my extended family, and what I might do to heal them.

Friday: In prayer, instead of asking for help, I found myself asking to be of help.

Saturday:  feeling a deep yearning -  to fix the messes in my life, to bring my grandson Ayumu home, to HEAL. There is that still small voice coming through, and though it whispers, it is becoming too loud for me to ignore.

I don’t have any clearcut answers to solve my problems yet, but I will continue with this challenge, and see what comes of it. I feel like changes are taking place, even if I can't see them yet.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

In the meantime, If you’d like to take the 21-day meditation challenge yourself, the link is here. Deepak sends you a guided 15-minute meditation every day -  a recording with gentle music and his voice. And it’s free. What have you got to lose?

https://www.chopracentermeditation.com/Bestsellers/LandingPage.aspx?BookId=172