Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Day After International Women’s Day

Photo: Forbes Magazine
March 8th was International Women’s Day. I celebrated by surrounding myself with brilliant, strong courageous women who inspire me. From morning till night, I was in the company of estrogen-laced greatness. Yes I was giddy and uplifted by the love, encouragement, and beauty of these women. All day my facebook buddies were touting  how happy and PROUD they were to be women. Yay for us! I got caught up in it. As my friend Barb said- it was intoxicating.

And then comes the morning after, also known as… the hangover. And with it, the sober thoughts.

Yes, I love being a woman. Sometimes. And sometimes it just plain sucks.
How could I say such a thing? Because although I believe in the power of positive thinking,  I don’t want to be in denial about the hard truths. If we don’t acknowledge them, we can not change them.

So here is my list of womanly things that SUCK:

It sucks ….

That a week after having a miscarriage I had to read about this asshat in Georgia who’s trying to pass a bill that could criminalize miscarriage. (I’m on a post-pregnancy hormonal rollercoaster right now -just try to prosecute me. I dare ya.)

That we are still fighting for control over our own reproductive rights.

That I’ve had to look over my shoulder all my life walking to my car or getting in an elevator because one in six US women are rape victims.

That my daughter has to carry pepper spray.

That women in so many parts of the world aren’t free, don’t have rights, are chased by the virtue police, have to wear burqas, are stoned to death for minor infractions that men get away with every day.

That one in four women are victims of domestic violence

Oh yeah….and since I’m feeling cranky, these things suck too:

that women are expected to be eternally thin and eternally young

that we have to wear bras and high heels. Those suckers are uncomfortable!

That we have to suffer through a good forty years of menstruating, cramping, headaches, bloating….and then at the end, you get….ta-da MENOPAUSE!

That we get yeast infections, and bladder infections, and all the other infections exclusively our own, plus all the woman-specific cancers for which research is under-funded.

Okay so I’m ranting. I’ll stop.

My husband has seen me through some tough stuff, most recently this miscarriage. He always says to me “You women have it so hard, I wish I could take some of the burden off you.”

I wish it too. But I wouldn’t wish any of this burden on him, he’s too sweet. I’d like to see other men take the burden. Like Mel Gibson. Or the asshat in Georgia. Or John Boehner. You think you’re crying now, Boehner? Try being a woman for a day!

I’m just saying it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. We have to be better, fight harder, strive more than our counterparts. Here in the US, opportunity abounds and I can pursue any dream I want, but I’m still looking over my shoulder every time a new bill threatens my freedoms, every time a stranger walks behind me, every time I turn on the news and hear yet another report of a missing woman who happens to have a really suspicious creepy boyfriend, and I can never forget that women around the world are still oppressed.

Ever since Eve took the rap in Genesis, on some level we’ve been cowering, apologizing for our gender. We bought the lie, and forgot who we really are. I mean…think about it. We CREATE LIFE in our wombs! We are capable of connecting with others at deep soul levels. Our intuition is astounding. But in many ways we are still in that victim role. We haven’t yet stepped into our power, or as my friend Amy Ferris says, awakened to our greatness.

So yes, let’s celebrate, but not because the struggle is over. Let’s celebrate all that is good, the progress we’ve made, and the road ahead that we have yet to walk together. Let's celebrate awakening to our greatness.

I am proud to be a woman, proud of all we’ve come through and survived, proud to carry the suffragette spirit in my veins, proud of all the women I am honored to call my friends. And I will be proud to continue to stand up for women, everywhere, until we are equal, free, and safe all around the world.

Happy Hangover Day. 


  1. Hollye, another excellent, so well written blog. I love all your writings because like today I so agree with you. You are one strong, forgiving, honest, trustworthy women and friend who I revere as my soul mate brought to me from FB, She Writes and blog her (?). I can't wait to spend any time with you live. I love your aura.

  2. Ditto what Madge says. So powerful.

    As my husband said to me today, if we step into our greatness, we will be empowered and energized to keep the change going. That is (I think) what we are doing here, now. I <3 you.
    xo B

  3. Thanks, Hollye. Beautifully said. I love it when we can just tell it like it like it is, cranky or not.

    1. And i always do tell it like it is. Doesn't always make me popular. Especially when I'm cranky.

  4. Brilliant Hollye. And I think I'm in love with your husband.

    I think the gender gap is due to one major issue that drives men mad with jealousy. WE CAN HAVE BABIES. Humanity can only come through US. Yeah we make them together, but women carry life, feed life, life forms inside our bodies and then, we suffer through labor and childbirth and ultimately give life. Truly co-creators with God. As long as there are women like you, Amy, and even moi, reminding, prodding, writing and informing younger gals of their worth and their greatness, I BELIEVE ONE DAY WOMEN WILL RULE THE WORLD AS THEY SHOULD BECAUSE WE KINDER, MORE LOVING, WAY SMARTER AND INTUITIVE, AND HOST OF OTHER ADJECTIVES.

    1. Can't blame you for loving my husband a little. He's a good one.
      thank god we girls are all raising our voices- EVERY VOICE COUNTS!

      If one of our blogs makes just one person stop and's all worth it.



I love hearing your point of view- thank you for taking the time to comment and be part of the conversation!